


V for Virgin! [BoyxGirlxBoy] 1st/2nd Draft

by gossamersilverglow



Category: Original Work
Genre: BDSM, Best Friends Falling in Love, F/M, Falling In Love, Heartache, LGBTQ Themes, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Multi, Subspace, Switching, Threesome - F/M/M, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 05:33:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16152629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gossamersilverglow/pseuds/gossamersilverglow
Summary: Every girl should have their best guy friend take her virginity. At least, that's what I think.Yes, I'm that girl.That weird girl that always asks for the impossible and just happens to be secretly in love with her oblivious--rightfully so--best friend. Woe isn't my name though. It's Cassie.And with my impromptu agreement to be a surrogate mother due to financial instability, I'm in a bind. Losing my virginity to a baby is not my cherry picking dream. I have maybe a month to get him to agree before the in vitro process starts. Of course, he knows absolutely none of this.So what's so impossible? Well, my best friend, Ethan, is gay. [M/F/M]This is NOT a love triangle, it's a threesome!





	1. Two boobs, a hole, and a wanted pole

**Author's Note:**

> I have more of the 1st/2nd draft written than I do of the 3rd draft (which is what I posted here first). So, after remembering how much I love this site, I'm posting this draft first. If you read the 3rd draft and noticed I disappeared, my apologies, it won't happen again!

A bigger dilemma of my lifetime happened when my gay best friend unintentionally turned me on at a 'randoms' pool party. Up until that point, I'd never had the urge to do a guy or a girl for that matter. At twenty, I hadn't ever been attracted to anyone that wasn't a movie star. I was a late bloomer to some. A relationship with a movie star would never happen, so I was safe from STD's, unwanted babies, and heartbreak when I selected which screen hottie would cause my delightful vibrated orgasm. 

The rabbit was an all-time favorite. 

"So, Ethan, I was wondering..." I started as if it were a normal conversation with any one of my friends. 

If I wasn't so comfortable around him I wouldn't be able to ask this rather uncomfortable question. Especially since I had no way of knowing how it would change our relationship in the future. Unfortunately, I was that comfortable with him.

His pine green eyes shifted in my direction, giving me a quick once over before returning his attention to his book. "Yes?"

I shifted my light blue cotton shorts higher up my thighs and grabbed the back of my black tee, pulling the excess material behind me. I wanted the effect to be the material stretching across my breasts, presenting me as a sex kitten in waiting. I wasn't sure how it would work with a gay guy –-I'm such a liar—but it was worth a try.

The words spilled out. "I want you to take my virginity."

Those seven words bounced off the walls of his apartment, taunting me, teasing me with their stupidity. Saying it in my mind was a different reality to saying it out loud, and Ethan's silence made me wonder if I'd already ruined what we had.

What was I doing? How could I just say it like that?

Blurting the words out had not been the best choice. I'd even tried to make myself physically appealing to him. Two boobs and a hole between my legs kept insisting it wasn't possible to be appealing to him. 

What was I thinking? 

Resisting the urge to bow my burning face into my hands, I let my humiliation consume me as I watched him, waiting for him to point and laugh, to tell me to get out for being so ridiculous, but all he did was blink at his book, a frown creasing the sides of his peach-colored lips. He peeked at me from the corner of his eyes before he turned his gaze away, looked straight ahead with a clenched jaw, and then shifted back to stare at me again.

"Cassie, I don't need to state the obvious," he said flexing the binding of the book, making it bend under the pressure. 

It was settled. It was as simple as that for him; end of story. I felt stupid for blurting out my secret to desire to have sex with him, but at least he hadn't laughed. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I'd thought about this for a long time, to consider making Ethan's boyfriend, Seth, a part of the 'devirginize Cassie' mission. It had to be Ethan and if Seth had to come as a result then I was definitely okay with it. Seth was like a rippling super model. 

A piece of my curly brown hair fell onto a pink cheek as I sighed and folded my arms across my chest. I turned my upper body towards him and leaned closer, settling inches away from his side. "I know you like guys. I understand that, but I don't trust anyone else to do it. You're my best friend, Ethan. And let's be honest, at the rate I'm going I won't lose it until I'm like," I paused, my eyes rolling upwards as I pretended to do some mental math, "eighty."

"Don't be over dramatic. Why now? You've never cared before."

I'm not gonna tell him. My two main reasons were for me and me alone. 

Sharing my reasons would be way too embarrassing. His glistening abs and a pair of black swim trunks at a pool party had tweaked my nether regions so much that I'd been wet-dreaming about him for months. When I realized I wanted him, a rational bug came and bit my ass, and shortly after Seth was appearing in my erotic dreams too. 'Cassie Sandwich' fantasies haunted my sleep and wake time.

It's not my fault. And I'm not gonna tell him! He didn't need the confidence boost anyhow. 

Ethan was always walking around shirtless and Seth was touchy – as in he was always touching me or Ethan. I noticed it a few weeks ago, about three months after the incident that would end up taking over my dreams, how much Seth enjoyed physical contact too. Seth would run his fingers up my bare thighs when I had shorts on, or bump me from behind with his hip. He would pat my ass and make comments about my small chest... he even took a finger and pulled the neck-line of my shirt down to peek inside. All flirtations I wouldn't have noticed, coming from a gay guy, if my sex-drive hadn't gone into warp speed. 

"Well? Why now?" Ethan repeated his question.

I wasn't going to let the answer 'because you and your boyfriend make me horny, Ethan' slip out, but it settled on the tip of my tongue. Biting my lip, I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I want to know what it feels like."

A horrified expression crossed his face, but he shook his head quickly, his sandy blonde hair falling into his eyes. He clutched at the binding of his book and brought it up to his face before he spoke again. "This isn't the 'I fell in love with my gay best friend' is it?" 

I slapped a hand to my chest and let my mouth drop, faking an outraged expression. I vehemently shook my head in denial. "Absolutely not, I just want you to stick your pole into my—"

He held a hand up, face-palming me. "If you finish that sentence I'll— damn! I'm getting an unwanted visual."

I scoffed. "Hey, I happen to be very sexy. Brett Carson told me that my lips are great for sucking—" 

"I'll kill you," he said, his eyes darkening. He raised a thoughtful eyebrow when I kept silent. "I didn't know Brett liked you."

I shrugged. "I didn't either." 

Clearly, I needed to try a different strategy. Already I let him steer me off topic. It might've worked with Seth, Ethan's current boyfriend, but not with me.

I pouted my lips, attempting a seductive look that probably just made me look constipated. "I love you."

Ethan scowled and shifted farther down the couch, away from me. "I love you too, but I'm not deflowering you."

"Why not?"

He flinched away from my high pitched cry. "Would you stop screaming like it's the end of the world?" 

"All I want you to do is—"

He nodded with a scoff. "Is stick my pole in your—"

I held my hand up. "Okay, you're right that wasn't the best word choice."

"Ya think?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes and sweeping a hand through my hair for dramatic effect. "It's not that big a deal, Ethan."

"Oh really? Then let Brett do it."

I faked a gag. "His hands are like meat hooks and his face looks like a very ugly bull dog."

"Well, it's not a big deal, right?"

"Ethan!" I reached over and punched him as hard as I could, but he barely flinched.

"For arguments sake, let's say I consider this, what about Seth? Does he get a say in this? He is my boyfriend, after all."

"Well technically, since you like guys and I'm a girl, it wouldn't really be cheating."

He scoffed. "That is the most retarded thing I've ever heard!" He heaved sigh as he discarded his book on the floor, nudging it to the side with his foot. "You do realize that Seth is paranoid that one day you'll be the one to turn me straight."

I frowned, stretching my legs and reaching behind me to scratch my back. "Is that even possible?"

Ethan snorted and settled his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands. "No."

I smiled. "You're such a freak."

He grunted.

"If it's not possible, then what's the problem? It's just sex!"

"If it was 'just sex' you wouldn't be asking me." I thought I'd lost him, but he turned his face, settling his cheek on his palm as he stared at me. His wheat colored brows drawn together in serious contemplation. "Are you sure you want it to be me?"

Hell yes! I pretended to think about it for a second before I nodded slowly. 

"You understand in order for me to take your virginity I have to be-um-well..." His face burned a lobster red as he stumbled over the words. 

"Turned on?" 

He inhaled sharply and then nodded. 

"Yes. That's why I was thinking that maybe we could ask Seth to join us," I said, feeling relived to have finally gotten it out. 

I really hope he doesn't think less of me wanting this.

He blinked and his lips parted. "How did I know you would say that? And you think I'm the freak?" 

Blowing on my nails with an 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' look, I nodded. "Seth tells me things, Mr. Sub. I could be your new dom. I think I could handle a whip pretty well and how hot would I look in slutty leather?"

Ethan's face flushed "Oh lord," Ethan mumbled. "Why do I put up with you?"

The corner of my mouth lifted in a smile. "Because you love me and I'm your snuggle bunny."

I could see it in his eyes. He'd given in. My brain grew legs and leapt with joy as he scrubbed his hands through his hair. "Oh man," he mumbled. "I can't wait to hear what Seth has to say about this."

"He'll want to know why he can't pop my cherry."

Ethan groaned, his shoulders sagging, his face now hidden in his palms, "That's exactly what he'll say."

I patted his muscular shoulder, letting my fingers linger longer. "We probably won't even have to talk him into it.


	2. You're not the Yoda of sex!

I'm in heaven. Foot-rub heaven.

Seth was on the floor, my leg settled in his lap as he thrust his thumb along the arch of my foot. After an eight hour shift at The Coffee Barn I purred like a cat, pointing my toes, and arching my back at the attention. I snuggled down into the suede couch at Ethan's, sinking further into the cushions, and flung an arm across my brow, humming my pleasure.

"I'll totally pop your cherry for you, Cassie," Seth said as he applied more pressure to my heel.

"A little to the left," I mumbled and lifted my arm to peek at Ethan to see his reaction.

He was scowling at Seth and cradling the cup of iced coffee I'd brought him. "Babe, your predictability could get boring."

Seth raised an eyebrow. "I'm predictable? That's not what you said last night!"

Ethan pointed at me, completely ignoring his taunt. "She knew you'd say that. Hell, I knew you'd say it." His shoulders lifted as he inhaled and exhaled. 

Only Ethan could make breathing look sexy, I thought, pretending to hide my eyes beneath my arm again, but really my eyes morphed into a hawks because I didn't want to miss a thing. 

"Gorgeous, you just know me in and out," Seth said with a saucy wink. His gray eyes sparked with mischief and he gave a sexy smirk as he reached over to rub up Ethan's thigh. 

I nudged at his stilled hand with my ankle. "Just because you're groping Ethan doesn't mean you get to stop rubbing my foot," I said. 

"I'll bet she's a wild cat in bed," Seth said. He had one hand still on Ethan's thigh, but the hand that had been rubbing my foot slide up my bare leg. 

I smacked at his wandering hand. "Don't be dirty."

Seth snorted, "Says the girl that wants to be deflowered."

"And what I don't understand is why? Stay a virgin," Ethan said, crossing a leg over his knee, effectively blocking Seth's hand. "Once you lose it, it's gone and you can't get it back."

He was twenty-one, a whopping one year older than me, and he was talking like he was a knowledgeable old man? I wasn't asking him to do this because he was an expert. I was asking because I felt safe with him and telling me to not lose my virginity wasn't going to change my mind.

"Well, thank you, Yoda, for that insightful speech. Are you a virgin, Ethan?" I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms across my chest. 

"No."

"Are you sexually active?"

Ethan's face flushed—God, he's cute. He raised his iced coffee to his lips and took a sip before speaking. "Yes."

"Daily, in fact... sometimes three times a day. In the bathroom, on the bed, in the kitchen... on the kitchen," Seth said, his grin widening with every lip nibble or nervous hand that swept through Ethan's hair. "You know he's a screamer, Cass?"

"So you've informed me, multiple times. Just last week actually," I said dully.

It was true. Seth was all about the 'shock' factor and if he could put someone in an uncomfortable position he'd do it every time. Seth's frequent conversations about their sex life could have been half of the trigger to what made me notice a glistening wet Ethan that day. They're both drool worthy, so what girl in their right mind would deny that, but the idea that it had been Seth's fault from the beginning was there. 

Why wasn't he rubbing my foot anymore?

"Seth, please!" I cried out quickly, once again nudging his fingers with the tips of my toes. His large hand immediately started again.

"The point is Cassie right now. Not our sex life," Ethan said, a deep growl rumbling in his chest. "By the way," he kicked at Seth with his foot, "I want to talk to you about that!"

"About what?" Seth asked.

"About how much information you share with Cassie. Why do you do that?"

Seth smirked. "Next time I do it, be sure to watch her face."

I frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Seth raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "Has anyone ever told you your lips were made to be wrapped around a cock?"

Ethan gasped. "Didn't you tell me the other day that Brett said something like that to you?"

I nodded and frowned deeper. "Yeah. He did."

"That's because I'm the one that brought it to his attention," Seth said with a chuckle.

"Did you now? And why were you talking to Brett again?" Ethan asked, failing to disguise the jealousy in his voice.

Brett was the type of guy that didn't care if he got it from a dog just so long as he was getting some —guys, girls, threesomes, moresomes— the drunker the better, party type of guy. 

"He's right, Cass. Stay a virgin," Seth said, trying to change the subject. His sarcasm let me know he was on my side though.

"Smooth, Seth. Real smooth," I said, nudging his hand with my foot again. "Would you stop stopping? I'm in pain here!" 

"I've always loved the way you beg me!" He grabbed my big toe and wiggled it.

"And what makes you two think you're qualified to tell me to stay a virgin or not? Just because you've had sex, doesn't mean you're the Yoda of it," I said.

Seth glanced at me, raising an eyebrow and turned to Ethan. It was a 'you handle this' look and I knew that I'd said something they both disagreed with.

Oh joy. Seth, you trader!

Ethan didn't seem to have a problem answering either as he shifted on the couch and settled against my shoulder, dropping his head next to mine. "You're right, it doesn't mean I'm 'Yoda' of sex, but I've had it, unlike you. So I know what you're asking for, something you don't fully understand. Not to mention, you're a girl. Personally, I've never had sex with a girl and clearly the first time for a girl versus a guy is completely different."

I frowned, ignoring most of what he said except for the part about not having sex with a girl. "How did you know you were gay if you've never had sex with a girl?" I asked. I didn't want to deviate too much from the main topic, but it niggled my curiosity bone.

Seth chuckled. "First of all, how do you know you're straight if you've never had sex with a guy? Are you battin' for girlstown and don't even know it? Probably not. Plus, he's on the football team, Cass."

That wasn't really an answer.

I shrugged. "So? Lots of guys are."

Seth turned, lifted his arms up to rest over my bare thighs, and stared at me pointedly. "Think about it, hon. He's popular, he looks like a fucking sex God, he hasn't come out yet, and therefore cheerleaders are bouncing around in his face with those tight little outfits. When a male has no reaction to that, but has to run into the restroom when the guys are changing in the locker room because he gets a boner, well that's a pretty damn big sign."

"That happened once and it was before you," Ethan said, his shoulders stiffening.

"You never told me about that." I scowled, drawing back my elbow to land a gentle blow to his midriff. His surprised grunt in my ear sent tingles down my spine.

"Hey," he grumbled, rubbing his stomach.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? We've been friends since kindergarten and I thought we told each other everything." I wasn't terribly upset about it, but it seemed like an important event in his life that I should've known about. He turned so that he was facing the side of my head, his body leaning towards me. 

"If you remember, I didn't actually come out to you until I was fifteen. That happened when I was thirteen. Besides, you know how my family is."

I frowned. I did know how his family was and it had always been a sore spot. Honestly, I think if he told them he was gay they'd be fine with it, but I could see why he'd be hesitant to say anything. At his family cookouts the guys wrestled. They called each other 'fags' and 'pussies' and went out of their way to make people laugh or feel uncomfortable. They did it with innuendoes or just a plain old beat down, but it was always in good fun. No one ever complained, except for the females when they got too rowdy. His family was all about the sports too. Hunting, fishing, real manly men stuff, as I'd heard Ethan's Uncle Ted refer to them on occasion.

"They love you, Ethan, and you know what your dad would say if he found out? That he still loved you and how you got your jollies off was your business," I said, wanting to reassure him. 

Seth snickered. "I'd imagine he'd want to have the talk with me too."

"The talk?" I asked curiously.

"Where he threatens me with a shovel? I'll bet he'd even pull out all the stops and include your Uncle Ted too."

I snorted and nodded enthusiastically. "He totally would."

"It took me fifteen years to come out to you, Cass, and you're my person. My family is just a different story," Ethan said, sounding tired and defeated.

My heart clenched at the Grey's Anatomy reference. It was another thing Ethan was 'in the closet' about. He was a Grey's Anatomy junkie. The three of us would have a crash course marathon of the last season just before the new season came out so we would be up-to-date on everything that happened. Of course, Ethan usually watched every season before that crash marathon.

"So you knew you were gay before you were born?" I asked skeptically.

Ethan shrugged. "I knew something was different when I was old enough to understand."

I pushed my bottom lip out in a pout, deciding to finally let him know his previous comment got to me. I twisted my upper body enough to reach for him, pulling him tightly to my chest. "You're my person too," I said softly, letting my voice crack with emotion as my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. "That's why I want you to do this for me."

His strong arms wrapped around me but his shoulders slumped. "I love you, Cassie, and in a perfect world I wouldn't be gay. You'd be my soul mate," he whispered into my neck. "It's just not a perfect world, but I'll try-"

"It's a perfect world because you're in it," I said back.

Seth cleared his throat and made a thumping noise against his chest. "You know, you're lucky shit like that doesn't piss me off anymore."

Feeling guilty, I pulled away partially. "Sorry."

In the beginning of Seth and Ethan's relationship, Seth had expressed some agitation when Ethan and I spoke to each other that way. I thought, until that day, that the way we spoke to each other was natural. I tried to distance myself out of respect for their relationship, but we all ended up being miserable, and luckily it was Seth that realized it. Seth sat me down and told me how sorry he was, that if he didn't like Ethan so much it wouldn't have bothered him. After that, the three of us became inseparable, and Seth warmed up to me fast. Seth mentioning that it used to tick him off made me feel even guiltier for making this request, but I could never trust anyone else as much as I trusted them.

Seth reached over and smacked the side of my upper thigh, causing me to squeal as the sting knocked me out of my thoughts. "Just the way you two are. I've gotten used to it. Now, let's get back on topic..."

There was such seriousness to his voice that I pulled back from Ethan, resting my hands on either side of my hips. The pause that followed had me biting my bottom lip before lifting my hands and rubbing my thighs vigorously. The tension thickened as the topic of the conversation switched. I swallowed as I shifted against Ethan once again and inhaled sharply. I was turned just enough towards him that I could feel the tip of my breast brushing against his arm and every time I moved, chills shot through my body.

Gawd, I'm so dirty, but talk about a crowd pleaser.

I didn't even care that Seth had stopped rubbing my aching feet anymore and it seemed like the perfect time to ask again. "So will you?" I asked. "I mean, Seth seems to be okay with it?" I raised an eyebrow in Seth's direction, his nod confirmed it, but the indecision in Ethan's face as he glanced at Seth made my stomach hurt.

Ethan cleared his throat and bowed his head, sliding his hands up my calf, kneading gently. "I knew you were serious, but I think it's only now just sinking in." 

Seth completely stopped rubbing my calf in favor of sliding his roughened fingers further up towards my thigh. My breath caught and my eyes widened as I followed his movements. "You both know I'm not completely turned off by girls," Seth added.

I held my breath at the sudden heat coursing through my stomach as Seth continued to rub in circles. I cleared my throat and paused, briefly closing my eyes as he got closer to my inner thigh. "I-I didn't know that," I whispered, wishing I could take a huge gulp of water.

"Really?" he asked with surprise. "No wonder you let me touch you so casually."

This was casual? Good lord! Now I want to know what un-casual is... I trembled with anticipation. I was being flayed alive and it was Seth's ever creeping hand doing it. My thighs snapped together, holding him still. 

And it was no wonder I'd always felt regret when he stopped touching me on those 'casual' touching days. He had been trying to arouse me on purpose or at least cop a feel. I meant to let that accusation known, but the words stayed wedged in my thoughts.

"I just thought I was in a lucky situation where my boyfriend didn't care when I felt up his female best friend who, surprisingly, also didn't care. I lost my virginity to a female, just so we're all clear."

"I knew this, but where are you going with it?" Ethan asked. I felt him shift beside me, but couldn't bring myself to open my eyes wide enough to see what caused the movement.

How could anyone's brain function at a time like this anyhow? I let out an unintentional whimper as his fingertips wiggled through my clamped thighs and slipped underneath the material of my shorts. 

"I'll let this happen, but only if I'm there. In fact, I want to be involved, but seeing as it's your first time and all, Cass, I would understand if you just wanted it to be Ethan," Seth said with a raspy voice.

Ethan released a breath I hadn't realized he'd been holding. My eyes popped open and I lifted my heavy lidded gaze up to his flushed face. "What?" he asked.

He had to have known it was going this way! Hmm, Seth must've said that for Ethan's benefit.

"What would be really hot is if while he popped your cherry I could fuck him from behind," Seth said in a partial joking tone. He pushed off the floor to sit on my other side, the side Ethan wasn't occupying. 

My heart fluttered. I swallowed, wiggling between them both as chills ran through me. He was just as close now, almost plastered to my back and Ethan to my front, and I knew I would die from sensation overload. My skin was prickling with every breath, every shifting body part against me. I was far too sensitive and my dreams had nothing on the reality. If I died now I could consider myself almost lucky.

"Well, Cass? Would you mind?" Seth asked.

My reaction was slightly sluggish given the situation I found myself in, but since it had been something I'd thought about before it didn't take much longer to respond, "Didn't I make it clear already? Of course I don't mind!"


	3. Losing his girl virginity

Saying I'd merely thought about having a threesome with my two best friends was the biggest understatement of the millennia. Mainly, it was Ethan and Seth as the leads, where I would make a cameo, but a starring role I'd never even dreamed of. Well, actually I had, many, many times. I just didn't think it could be a reality. 

My mind's blown!

As the idea settled, my hands drifted in front of me, resting on my stomach while the subtle head of a raging bull slipped through me; as subtle as a raging bull could be at least. A caged monster trying to break free from my shorts caused me to push my palms into my lower abdomen. The intense jolt of pleasure caused a surprised grunt to escape my lips and my hips rolled like an instant reflex to relieve the pressure. I knew they both noticed my reaction when the silence continued and all I could hear was my staccato breathing as I tried, but failed, to remove my hands.

"That was fucking hot," Seth said breathlessly. "It doesn't take much to turn you on, does it?"

He moved suddenly, and I felt the flat palms of his hands under my ass, lifting me, pushing me towards Ethan. I yelped as the movement forced me to straddle Ethan's lap and the suddenness of having him between my thighs caused me to wiggle against him. My hands rested against his chest, my head bowed, and my breathlessness left me lightheaded. I couldn't' believe the fast pace of the situation either. One minute we were talking about it, the next minute we were doing it. My body was right on topic, by my mind needed to catch up. 

The couch dipped as Seth scooted closer, and Ethan's hands clamped on my waist, stopping a second hip swivel. "Under normal circumstances, I would have felt like I was being molested."

"Oh come on, dude! You had no reaction to that?" Seth asked gesturing towards his own lap. "I'm half hard."

I flushed, trying to calm myself through my yoga breathing techniques. Clearly, this was having more of an impact on Seth and me than it was on Ethan.

No biggie, Cass, you expected this. Right?

"I'm sorry," I said, and tried to get off of his lap only to be stopped by Seth's hand on my lower back, keeping me still. 

Seth pushed against me, his chest tight against my back as he swiftly captured Ethan's mouth in a rough, passion-filled kiss over my shoulder. With every tongue slash for dominance Ethan leaned forward into me trying to get closer to Seth, but Seth pulled away enough to whisper in Ethan's ear. Whatever he said did enough to cause Ethan to react and shift beneath me. I was sitting on the slightly rising evidence. Heat pooled in my stomach, and I closed my eyes, but Ethan's deep, rough groan startled me. I turned my head to see Seth pop Ethan's earlobe out of his mouth. Ethan's hands lifted and rested against my sides, clutching tightly. Perhaps if the blood rushing in my own ears hadn't been so loud I'd have been able to hear them, after all, we were close enough. 

"What did you say to him?" I asked, watching as Ethan tried to catch his breath, his fingers digging almost painfully into my sides.

"I'll tell you, after he takes your virginity," he said to me. "I'll do what I promised, Ethan... to both of you. How about we do this now?" 

Hello! I'm on top of Ethan. Aren't we already? Was what I thought to myself, but out loud I could only emit a noncommittal whimper of confirmation.

"Just like that? It seems like this is happening a little too quickly. Cassie..." Ethan started sounding out of breath before he trailed off.

"I wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't sure. I was okay with it when it was just an idea. I'm okay with it now. The only hurdle is you," I managed with surprising clarity.

Ethan swallowed and took a shaky breath. "So the three of us?"

I paused, letting it sink in what I was really asking for. I looked over at Seth, turning my head to the side as I examined him. "Yeah, the three of us," I mumbled, and in an attempt to lighten the mood added, "Plus, it seems only appropriate that you'll be losing your girl virginity to me."

"My girl virginity?" Ethan gave a breathless chuckle while continuing to hold my hips firmly against him.

"You've never been with a girl. So you have girl virginity." 

Seth snorted and smiled with his eyes. A few more jokes and the tension in the room dissipated. However, five minutes later when we all moved to Ethan's floor, 'awkward' reared its ugly head. Ethan tried to settle his body on top of mine, but only successfully managed to dig his elbow into my ticklish stomach, and my shorts were climbing up my ass with my back flush against the shaggy, white carpet. 

Uncomfortable! 

Seth, the one who suggested our current position, was sitting on the couch above us, thoroughly amused at Ethan's uncertainty, and watching intently with his chin in his hands.

Why does Seth get to stay comfortable?

Ethan pulled back, removing his elbow from my belly, scowling as he settled his weight on his knees. He reached forward to grip my thighs, trying to push them apart so he could rest against me. This started a completely new bout of laughter as the feel of his fingers digging into my flesh tickled more.

"Would you stop?" Ethan asked with exasperation. 

I had a feeling his flustered expression had nothing to do with being turned on. Awkward is what it was. While I was more prone to laughing with his extremities digging into my sides, the situation alone was enough to get me going again. Ethan didn't help either. He would've seen it too if he wasn't being so uptight. I couldn't let this go without some form of comic relief, if only to relieve the rapid beating of my own heart every time he touched me.

"Oh, mm, right there, baby." I managed a fake moan before a snort of laughter escaped.

Seth chuckled and Ethan scowled. Not the result I'd been wanting, but it would do. I quickly turned my head to the side, my cheek pressing into the carpet as I gasped for breath between laughter and the occasional cough.

"Well, I'm glad you two find this amusing," Ethan said, sounding only partially irritated.

"Cassie," Seth mumbled, his tone reprimanding, but amused all-at-once as he shook his head. He made a quick gesture towards Ethan. "Ethan, take your shirt off, show her those rock hard abs. Maybe she'll get more serious."

I instantly sobered. Ooh. Good idea!

Ethan pulled back, steadying himself on his knees, his hands placed at his hips. "If I'm taking my shirt off so are you," he said with a pout.

Whoa! Two for one. Hooray!

"Yeah Seth, take it all off!" I giggled and lifted my gaze towards him. "Don't be shy."

"Actually, Cassie, I was talking about you," Ethan said

"I-" I started. "Oh, fine. I see how you are," I teased, smirking up at the both of them. "Seth still has to take his shirt off though. Ethan, you have to be turned on for this to work, right? Now, strip... the both of you!" I clucked my tongue and crinkled my nose into a scowl to rival all scowls when neither of them moved. "Well?"

"I wanted to wait. See how Ethan responded to you without me, but fuckin-a if that wasn't a hot little speech," Seth said and whipped his shirt off his head, throwing it at my face.

His warmth clung to the gray material, smelling like laundry soap and burnt charcoal from the chicken he'd cooked on the grill. I balled the shirt up and threw it back. He dodged it easily. I made a tsking noise and sat up, bringing my face and upper body closer to Ethan's. His eyes widened, but he didn't move. "Maybe I should try first though."

"Try what?" Ethan asked.

Yes what, Cassie? My thoughts were mean to me, but I barely knew what I meant either. 

"To-um- to turn you on, Ethan." I paused, but clung to that idea. "Don't I need to know how to turn you on by myself? You know, for practice?" Really I just wanted an excuse to start touching him.

Ethan chuckled and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, hopefully the next guy you're with won't be gay and you won't have to try so hard."

"How very encouraging," I said drolly and rolled my eyes. I shifted, scooting away from him, and folded my arms across my chest. "Tell me what to do."

Ethan raised an eyebrow. "Uh," was all he managed before turning to look at Seth.

"Don't look at me," Seth said, holding his hands up. "This is gonna be hot as hell."

"Voyeur," I mumbled accusingly.

Seth chuckled and turned his attention towards me. "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

I shrugged and glanced down at the floor, running my fingers through the shaggy carpet. "So, tell me what to do."

I wasn't completely ignorant of what I needed to do, but some part of me, the Evil!Cassie if you will, wanted me to hear Ethan say it. I licked my lips as Ethan cleared his throat, glanced at Seth once more to make sure he wasn't going to supply some information, and then turned his attention back towards me. "Well, first I think I should get better acquainted with the female body before you even try. Outside of Human Anatomy class I'm clueless."

Lub-dub, lub-dub – I can hear my heart! It was about to explode out of my chest. He wants to touch me! Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me! I wanna be diii-rty!

"Cassie?"

"Sorry, I had a Rocky Horror moment! Ethan, who talks like that, I mean seriously?" I scolded, trying to ignore the clamminess of my palms. I licked my bottom lip again, avoiding eye contact.

Ethan shrugged casually. "Skin contact is stimulating to anyone and well, I've never really touched naked breasts before so I think we should start there."

Boy did he talk good foreplay. My inner voice had a sarcastic tone to it, but hell if it wasn't working on my body regardless. I raised an eyebrow and turned my attention back to my best friend, searching his shockingly green eyes, hoping he wouldn't comment on my blushing face. "If I didn't know for a fact you were gay, I'd say you were trying to cop a feel or that you don't want me touch you."

With an eye roll of mock frustration, Ethan reached forward and tugged at the hem of my shirt. It stretched before bouncing back, exposing part of my stomach. "Take your shirt off, Cassie," he said.

I exhaled. "I'm kind of flat-chested," I said in warning as I went for the hem of my t-shirt.

"You're fine," Ethan said.

"Tell us something we don't know," Seth said at the same time.

Warranting that with a snarl wouldn't do anything, so I ignored him and focused on my breathing so I wouldn't pass out. "I just mean... that um... I'm your first boob groping. I'm not really up to standards with a good boobage grope, you know?"

Ethan frowned and he dropped his head slightly, trying to make eye contact with me. He reached forward and petted my hair. "Cassie, I've seen you naked before."

Yeah, in high school, before I ever even realized you were a man that got me hot!

"You've never touched my naked body before. All I'm saying is—" I started, but Ethan cut me off.

"This was your idea, but if you're uncomfortable we don't have to do this."

I shook my head. "That's not what I was getting at. I want to. I'm more than ready. I'm just... being stupid, I guess."

"I've always admired your body," Ethan said, giving me a soft smile. "You're petite and curvy and..." He paused and I bit my lip, wanting to express to him with my eyes the gratitude I was feeling for him in that moment.

He took a gulping breath and released it before he moved forward, his cheek so close it was almost brushing mine. I swallowed, my eyes darting as I searched his face. When I felt his warm fingertips brush against my abdomen as he started pushing the hem of my shirt up, I leaned backwards, instinctually feeling the need to watch him strip me of my protection.

Eventually, as my shirt got higher and Ethan's fingertips became his palms, flat against my sides, it became too hard to watch. So I turned my chin into my shoulder to focus on Seth instead. Soon I realized that watching Seth's intense gaze gobble up the scene wasn't much better. I lifted my arms, letting Ethan slip the shirt completely off of me. My chin dropped, looking down to see my chest and shoulders splotched red from embarrassment. My simple cotton bra cupped my breasts, decorated with a tiny pink bow, and I felt the urge to squish my arms tight to my sides in order to give my breasts more volume, but stopped myself at the last minute. This was Ethan and Seth. They didn't need me to act that way.

"I never thought I'd think a miniature pink bow was sexy," Seth said just next to my ear.

I stiffened, my breath catching in my throat, wondering when he'd gotten so close. His warm moist breath against my neck caused my thighs to tremble and Ethan's proximity was making it harder to breathe. I was going to pass out. 

Sensory overload. Warning. Warning.

"Cassie, just breathe," Ethan whispered against my cheek.

 

\----

"Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me! I wanna be diii-rty!" Rocky Horror Picture Show


	4. It has to be special

If I was a man I'd be dying right now. I'd heard the term 'blue balls' before and never understood it until I told Ethan what I really wanted to do to him after a few minutes of him touching me. In the end, he decided it was all going a little too fast for him. It would've been super hot if he had stiffened up the right way, but instead he called it a night and gave a 'we'll try again later' spiel. I'd been mortified, worried for the first time in my life that I might have said something a little too obscene, and sexually frustrated. Not even my beloved Rabbit could do the trick when I got home, and the cold shower is a total myth. 

Maybe it works for guys, but not me! Instead of being hot and wet, I was cold and wet. The erotic dream that followed that night made it even worse the next morning, which happened to be a full day of classes for me.

Mondays suck. Being a virgin sucks. Blue balls suck... "I wonder what it's called for a girl?" I whispered to myself.

Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore, well, except that it was the end of the school day, and I didn't have to work at The Coffee Barn tonight. Oh, and maybe getting to have an orgasm too. That'd be nice. Until last night, I'd never had Rabbit be so useless. 

Ethan and Seth have ruined me!

"Cassie!" Seth hollered down the hallway, jogging towards me.

Growling under my breath, I clutched my school books to my chest and darted towards my locker. I banged it open and tossed my homework into my pink and black backpack. Quickly swinging the strap onto my shoulder, I slammed the door shut, grabbed my lock, and turned in the opposite direction Seth was coming in.

"Hey, Cass, don't be mad at me. Last night was all Ethan's doing. I was ready and willing!" Seth shouted just as loudly.

I flipped around, my eyes wide with disbelief. I could feel my chest starting to splotch red with embarrassment. "Gee, could you say it any louder?"

Seth paused in front of me and his face scrunched up as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, what could I say louder?"

"That I'm a big ho? Or, here's a good one, that I wanna be a cum bucket!" I whispered harshly.

His shout of laughter echoed in the emptying halls and his shoulders shook. "I. Love it. When you. Talk dirty. To me," Seth gasped out through hiccups of laughter.

I sneered at him. "What do you want?"

"Ethan wants you to come—" he stopped and sputtered like a broken down car, his shoulders shaking harder than ever.

My fingers itched to take a swipe at his face. "Oh, you're fucking funny, Seth!"

He calmed himself down enough to take a step forward and bow over me. He leaned his forearm against the locker next to my head and brought his face close to mine. "Babe, I was so ready last night. Anytime you want, you can tell me what you want to do to me."

I settled against the locker, feeling my anger dissipate, and I bowed my head trying to keep my lower lip from trembling. "You liked it. Ethan didn't."

"Cassie," Seth whispered and lifted my chin up. "He liked it a little too much. He didn't know how to handle his body's reaction. He's never been sexually attracted to a female before and it's you he had the reaction to. When he does this, as you said, he'll be losing his girl virginity too. And it's you, Cass, you're special to him, you always have been. You're not just some lay to him. He's looking at you differently already –that's huge progress—but he just doesn't know how to deal with it. More importantly, he doesn't want this to ruin anything between any of us. I think he really does look at this like a normal girl would."

I scowled. "Are you saying I'm not normal?"

Seth nodded. "Exactly."

No point in arguing.

I slumped my shoulders and pouted. "So Ethan wants the process of him losing his girl virginity to be special?"

He nodded again.

"You gotta be kidding me," I slapped a hand to my chest, "I'm horny. This is not fair! I'm the female in this situation. If I'm okay with it, he should be too!"

Seth smiled widely and brought his hands forward to cup my face. He dropped his forehead to mine and placed a quick kiss against my nose before brushing away bits of my hair. "See, you're not normal. I love that!"

I rolled my eyes. "So what does Ethan want?"

"He wants you to come to his football practice."

"I would rather die!"

"Aw, don't be that way. What if I promise to push Ethan a little further tonight?"

"Tell him to shove his 'losing-my-girl-virginity-needs-to-be-special' idea up his ass!"

Seth's mouth twitched. "Think about what you just said."

Oh no. He got me. I clamped my teeth down over my bottom lip and folded my arms across my chest. "It's not funny."

Ten minutes later I was sprawled on the bleachers watching Ethan's practice, and laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. When practice finished and Ethan trotted over I tried to give him the stink face, but it became harder the closer he got. It wasn't the way he held his helmet or that his hair clung to his forehead or even that he tore off his sweat soaked jersey either... well maybe it was that.

He stopped in front of me, shifting from foot to foot and holding his helmet with two hands. He cleared his throat. "Hey," he said, biting his lip.

I lifted my chin and looked past him. I wasn't going to say the awkward 'hey' back. He could just stuff it. 

"Cassie," he drawled my name out. "Please, don't be mad at me."

"We're doing this tonight. At your place, obviously..." I trailed off. 

Ethan had the luxury of having parents with money, unlike myself. I didn't have parents at all. His apartment –where I spent most of my time anyway— was one of the high end ones close to the University. I lived on the extra cheap side of town, where one bed, a microwave with a short, cold showers, and cockroach infestations were normal. 

"I bought condoms, and um-" I paused to tuck my hair behind my ears, "I've been on birth control for awhile so..." 

It's happening again. I'm thinking about Frankie and Ed. Thinking about where I lived compared to Ethan's place made me remember stuff I didn't want to remember. I'd gotten a pretty raw deal in the parent department so I was used to those types of living situations, but still. My biological parents were killed in a car crash when I was a baby. I was lucky enough to get adopted by a caring couple soon after, hence why I was able to grow up with Ethan and have a normal childhood. 

"Ooh, I hope you got cherry flavored!" Seth said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Cassie? Are you okay?" Ethan asked, touching my shoulder to get my attention. I smiled and nodded. He didn't need to know that my train of thought had gone from one serious thing to another.

Francine—Frankie as she used to be called by her best friend, Ethan's mom—and Ed, my adopted parents, unfortunately drew an unlucky fate card for themselves as well. Frankie got diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer. As a social worker, she'd always been a fighter so it was no surprise she lasted for as long as she did. When it happened, I experienced my first real heartbreak. At thirteen I'd lost the light of my life and Ed lost the love of his. Ed never really bounced back. In fact, to this day I'm certain the heart complication that took his life—labeled as inconclusive—two years later was due to a broken heart. 

If it hadn't been for Mickey, Ethan's father, who was a very well known and successful lawyer at the time—he was a well respected judge now— I would've been thrown back into the system. Mick had brought up the idea of adopting me, but Jeanine, Ethan's mother, wouldn't have it. She said the only way she wanted me to be related to them is if I was going to be their daughter-in-law. Jeanie always found ways to throw the two of us together, honestly she was super lucky Ethan and I got along so well. I think she and Frankie had plans from the beginning too. Once I even saw a wedding book with photo manipulations of Ethan, me, and what our children would look like. If I didn't love her so much I'd think she was a bit crazy. This was probably another reason why Ethan didn't have the heart to come out to his parents. 

So Mick helped me file for emancipation. Financially speaking, they helped me out way too much. Frankie and Ed's life insurance policies had gone to burying them and hospital bills, so it wasn't that they hadn't planned for me it was that they hadn't planned for Frankie's sickness. When I turned seventeen I decided to financially cut ties with Ethan's parents and started paying for my own things, like my crappy apartment. I just had to deal with it until I graduated college. 

"You look awfully sexy in sweat," I said with an absent minded chuckle, running my fingers down Ethan's abs.

He danced away from my tickling finger tips, laughing nervously. "This is gonna take some getting used to."

"Why?" I asked. "I've always talked to you like this."

"Yeah, but now I know you mean it, like, that way, you know?" He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced over at Seth who was smirking at the both of us.

"How about we just do a little tonight? I mean—" 

My ears perked and I dragged myself out of my thoughts. "Well, how much time do you need?" I asked.

"Why are you so impatient?"

I inhaled sharply. I had to tell him. He was going to find out sooner or later. Plus, he wasn't the only one needing to get used to the idea of me talking dirty to him out loud. I could say it in my thoughts no problem, but I wasn't about to let my lily white purity keep me from voicing those thoughts either. "Rabbit isn't cutting it."

Seth scratched the back of his head. "What is 'Rabbit'?"

Ethan groaned and dropped his face into his hands. "It's her bullet."

"You named your toy?"

I shrugged. "Doesn't everyone?"

Seth raised an eyebrow. "Not really, no. Only the crazy ones."

"Just get a new one," Ethan suggested.

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't break it. It still runs! It's just not enough after last night."

"It didn't work for one night?" Ethan paused, looking baffled. "What's the big deal?"

"Hey! Hey! I won't take that attitude from someone who gets the real thing all the time. I happen to have a good amount of stress in my life and one night without makes me cranky." I said with a growl, and pointed my thumb over at Seth. "And from what I hear, Seth puts out three times a day!" I lifted my hands and weighed my option versus his option. "Going home to cold metal or warm flesh... you don't need to guess which one wins."

"Can't argue with that logic," Seth said, stepping off the bleachers and offering his hand to me. "Shall we?"

I slapped my hand into his with a grin. "We shall!" I patted the straps of my book bag. "I've got my newly acquired goodies here. Do you know how awkward it was buying this?"

"What are we talkin' about?" Ethan asked, stepping in line with Seth and me as we walked through the football field.

"Condoms!" I said, loud enough that a few of Ethan's straggling team mates hooted and hollered. I cleared my throat and hid my face as we walked by them. "Oops."

Seth chuckled and wrapped his arm around my neck, choke holding me more than hugging me. 

"I hope you didn't just get one."

I raised my eyebrow. "I got one box."

Seth shrugged and kissed me on my temple. "That's okay. Ethan has plenty more at his place."


	5. Bringing sexy back

Apparently, diving in wasn't going to work for Ethan. 

"Okay, so what do I do?" I overheard Ethan asking Seth as I peeked through the crack in the bedroom door.

I rolled my eyes as Seth gave him a pep talk and lifted my shirt. They could talk and I could naked. I didn't want what happened the other day to happen again. I felt exposed and the bitch in my head that always tried to destroy my self-esteem tried to get me to stop, but the heat emanating between my legs won out. I wanted this, but I needed it more. 

When I was down to my underwear my fingers paused. It was the only place Seth and Ethan hadn't seen yet. I exhaled. Shaking my head, I left the light blue boy shorts on and pushed Ethan's bedroom door open. The two were oblivious to me. Seth was leaning towards Ethan, his arm around his shoulder. They were huddled, whispering to each other about what Ethan needed to do to me... most likely. I couldn't hear them, but that had to be it.

I leapt on the bed just behind them, giggling a little as I bounced, but still they didn't notice. Frowning, I turned on to my stomach and propped my chin up on my arm as I watched them. "Yap, yap, yap," I mumbled around a yawn. 

I'm gonna die a virgin, I thought, yawning again.

Warm lips and a trail of wetness down the slope of my back made my eyes pop open. A heavy weight settled against me, pushing me into the bed. Muscular arms wrapped around me, pulling my upper body up just enough so that I wouldn't suffocate. My bare back met hot skin and I shivered. I turned my head just in time to see Seth trail kisses against my shoulder blades and grind his jean clad hips against my panty covered bottom. 

An unintelligible grunt forced its way out of my mouth and I wiggled against his front, wanting. He gave a pleased hum against my scapula before scrapping his teeth over the bone. "You fell asleep." His deep, husky voice whispered against the wet spot he'd made. 

I bit my lip, turning my head so I could see him better. "Are you gonna punish me?" I asked softly, a spark of excitement fluttering to my groin.

Seth's appreciative chuckle made my belly burn with need. He gave a gentle smack to the side of my ass cheek and I yelped with surprise. "We have other plans right now."

We... I turned my head and saw Ethan watching us. "Hey."

He smiled and settled on the bed next to us. "Hey."

"Are you ready?"

Ethan reached a hand forward and smoothed my hair out of my face. "I feel like I should be asking you that."

"I was born ready. Well, kind of," I paused to frown, but rolled my eyes and tilted back to give Seth's wondering mouth access to my neck. "Kiss me, Ethan."

Seth circled his hips and ground against me the minute Ethan touched his lips to mine. Ethan hesitantly presented his tongue to me and I licked his with mine before capturing and sucking on it. He pulled away, teasing. His green eyes sparked with mischief as his gaze darted to Seth and he bent forward to lick the tip of my nose.


	6. Touching the surface

Why we moved to the living room was beyond me when Ethan's bed was so much more comfortable, but Ethan had to get something. It took too long, so Seth and I followed him out, but now things were happening. Things that would've been much more comfortable in Ethan's bed then on his couch, but I guess a girl can't be choosy. 

 

I whimpered as I felt Seth shifting me forward so he could kneel behind me, sliding completely off the couch. He pulled me backwards so that my shoulder blades touched his chest, testing the waters for a minute before wrapping an arm around my stomach. My backside was flush with his front and an appreciative groan emitted from his throat.

"Damn, your ass is perfect," he said, his voice rough and husky as he nudged my hair aside with his cheek, nuzzling his face into the side of my neck.

His arm slipped from my waist and I gave a startled yelp as he gripped my ass, massaging it deeply. He put his arm back in place around my waist and pulled. My only option was to lean against him or be uncomfortable. As soon as I settled against him though, his hips started thrusting forward, grinding against my posterior.

Oh God. 

I wanted to lean forward, put my hands on the floor, and push back. I wanted to leave my cotton shorts on and let him grind against me through his jeans until he had an orgasm. And I wanted Ethan in front of me... with his pants off. I'd never given a blow job before, but in that moment I was about to beg for it. I cleared my throat and swallowed as my mouth watered. I shook my head, trying to shake free of the dirty thoughts latching on to me.

"Cassie, don't forget to breathe," Seth said, reminding me the way Ethan had. Leaning his face against the back of my head, he slowly slipped his hands down, pulling my already short cotton shorts up. These shorts were my go-to bottoms after work and for once I appreciated my decision on something so skimpy and cool. The feel of his calloused hands gripping my thighs had my whole body trembling and the heat coursing through me made me feel like I was burning alive as he nudged my legs apart.

At this point, we were all kneeling, Ethan in front of me and Seth behind me, plastered to my back, still knocking his hips into mine. Seth made a come-hither noise that had Ethan moving forward without a word and soon Ethan was almost as close to me as Seth.

Ethan... I hadn't even looked at him yet.

Slowly, I lifted my eyes, biting my lip, but of course Ethan wasn't looking at me. He was devouring Seth with his eyes, focusing on his face before dropping his gaze to his boyfriend's pulsing hips. With a burning blush, I turned away. 

"Come closer," Seth said, beckoning Ethan forward.

I wasn't sure how much closer he could get, but I wasn't going to complain. I glanced back at Ethan, searching his face. When he saw me looking at him, he hesitated, the lust in his eyes dimming as he contemplated what he should do.

Well, it hurt, but I didn't really expect him to jump from zero to thirty for me.

Or maybe that is what I expected. I thought, going into this, that I had no other expectations than just sex with the both of them. Losing my virginity, getting a little more adventurous and even more knowledgeable for when I do get a boyfriend. It seemed like a win/win. Had I been lying to myself?

"I don't know what you did, but she's not feeling this anymore, Ethan," Seth said, dropping his hand from my thighs.

How the hell did he know so quickly? 

"How do you figure?" I asked.

Ethan looked honestly perplexed and slightly upset. "I don't even know what I did."

"Don't worry about it," I said. It wasn't his fault, it was mine. 

I reached behind me, shoving my hand in between my back and Seth's chest, to unsnap my bra. I let the material slide down my arms as I thrust my chest forward. "Touch them." 

The demand caused Ethan to glance down with surprise, as if he hadn't noticed my previous movements. He reached forward and poked my right breast with his index finger.

"Really, Ethan?" I asked with exasperation and roughly reached for his dropping hand to put it back in place, only this time forcing him to cup the whole thing.

"It's so small," he mumbled, rubbing his palm up and down experimentally. 

I scoffed. "Gee, thanks!"

Ethan shrugged. "The truth hurts."

"Small enough to fit completely in your mouth. Small is fucking spectacular," Seth said softly, but with a twinge of impatience. "Try it, Ethan."

"You always made fun of my flat chest," I mumbled at Seth. I didn't know how to feel about the spectacular comment. It wasn't necessarily a comment aimed at me anyhow.

Seth pushed my hair away from my ear and leaned in. His tongue darted out and he captured my earlobe before whispering in my ear, "Because every time I did it I always got to look at them." He paused and brought a free hand to the breast Ethan wasn't manhandling. The rough pad of Seth's thumb expertly tweaked my nipple and I had to bite my lip to keep from making any noise. "God, Cass, you're gorgeous."

His heavy breathing of words against my ear made me shiver, but I didn't let that compliment go unrewarded because now I knew he was talking about me. My head turned and I captured his lips. As first kisses go-first time I kissed Seth at least-it wasn't too bad. The only oddity was that both of our eyes remained open. I watched him stare at me. His gaze was steady, burning me up with his need. His mouth moved against mine on instinct and then I pushed the tip of my tongue hesitantly against his soft lips. The long husky groan he let out tickled my lips. He closed his eyes and his hands reached up cupping my face on either side.

Seth tried to capture my tongue, but I teased him, retreating. I gave a little giggle when I felt his mouth curve. Finally, because I had to breathe, I pulled away, but not before giving him a quick peck on his lips.

"Did you two forget about me?" Ethan asked with a pout. He was teasing, but I could hear the husky tone in his voice that hadn't been there before. 

Seth reached forward and clamped his hand against Ethan's bicep. "Babe, you're unforgettable. Now, do what I tell you to or I'll punish you."

I snorted as an image of Seth dressed as Sailor Moon popped into my mind. "It could work," I mumbled. 

Seth slid his gaze to me. "Do I want to know?"

"Probably not," Ethan answered for me. 

Seth licked his plump bottom lip. "Do you want to be punished, Cassie?"

I don't know why that surprised me, I knew how they liked experimenting, but it never registered that they might want to do it to me. It could've been the word 'punish', but it was mostly the intensely dark look that sparkled on Ethan's face. He wanted to play that game.

Clearing my throat, I spoke, "Maybe, but not for my first time. I'm adventurous, but there are things I'll have to ease into."

Ethan, with his demeanor changed, cautiously bent down and leaned forward. "We have time."

Not as much as you think. The thought almost took me over, but I shook my head. Ethan and Seth didn't need to know about that. When Ethan bent down over me, my shoulders stiffened and I held my breath. Had he noticed the change in me? Did I give something away? My lips parted as he shifted down and grazed his moistened lips against my nipple. 

Oh yes please.

Ethan eyes shifted, gauging my reaction. There was a mix of curiosity and mischievousness teasing behind his eyes, but there was something else too. Need. Desire. I clenched the need to jump up in joy down. I knew there was some part of him that wanted me, being gay be damned. 

My arms darted out and pulled him towards me. My body took care of everything else as my hips gyrated up, causing my chest to move forward. Ethan's mouth widened over my breast with the movement and the sob came out before I could stop it. The warmth of his wet mouth, the gentle sucking, and his now exploring tongue had me shaking so hard I was pretty sure I could time travel. 

"You're shaking hard, babe," Seth said, as he ran his hands soothingly down my shoulders to my sides. "We've barely touched you."

"I swear, I'll be okay." I didn't recognize the lust ridden voice or the whimper that escaped as I reached wildly forward, clamping my hands behind Ethan's head. I could feel the small smile lifting the corners of his lips as swirled his tongue and opened his mouth wider.

He could fit my entire breast into his mouth. He slid his teeth over the tender flesh as he fell back. I collapsed into Seth, my head dropping to his shoulder as Ethan continued to suck and tease. So lost in Ethan's ministrations that I only noticed Seth's sliding hand after he'd pushed past my shorts. His fingertips stayed on the outlining of my panties, teasing, threatening to slip under the hem, then pulling back and repeating. Seth's other arm was wrapped around my stomach and his mouth was dusting open-mouthed kisses against my neck and under my ear. The muscles in my ass cheeks clenched and my thighs shook with impatience and need. I knew then that I couldn't wait.

Keeping one hand clamped behind Ethan's head, holding his mouth against me, I darted my free hand under my shorts. Grabbing Seth's wrist, I pushed his calloused hand over my panties and pressed down hard. My hips lifted at the pressure and Seth moved his hand beneath mine in circles.

I clenched my teeth together and turned my face into Seth's neck. The hoarse scratch to my voice as I tried to hold in my cries sounded foreign. I was so close. I could feel the knot in my belly tightening, the waves of heat shooting down my legs and around my groin. A little more pressure, a few more hip thrusts and I was gone, but that wasn't what Seth had in mind as he lifted his hand off. The whine that escaped barely had time to be voiced as he slipped a finger inside my panties to flick the tip against my clit.

Holy fuck!

"OhmyGodI'mcumming," I cried out. My voice cracked and my eyes rolled into the back of my head while my hips swiveled up. Seth's finger did a slip 'n slid between the lips of my pussy and bit down on the only thing in front of me... the base of Seth's neck. 

His shout of surprise sounded muffled to the ringing in my ears. My hand dropped from Ethan's head to dig into my thighs. Instead of Ethan pulling away, I could feel his feathery kisses trailing over my chest, against the side of each breast, down to my belly button and back up. When it was over, my body was still jerking from aftershocks, my chest heaving, my face flushed and the idea of getting up to get a glass of water came and went. 

No way can I walk after that.

"I almost came with you," Seth mumbled against my cheek.

He'd dropped his head against mine. I could feel his moist breath spreading against my cheek. My lips were inches away from the side of his neck which now sported teeth marks and red splotches. I placed a kiss against the marks, glad I hadn't broken skin and offered a grunt in response. I could still feel Ethan trailing kisses all over me. 

"Hmm, I can't wait to give you a real orgasm," Seth said, continuing to rub his cheek against mine.

I exhaled a whoosh of air and inhaled, wondering what he thought a real orgasm actually was. By my standards, it was the best orgasm I'd ever had. I don't think I could handle anything harder.

Ethan smirked against my shoulder and responded like he could read my thoughts. "That was a gratification orgasm. A surface one really. I admit, it will be interesting to see you have a longer, deeper one."

Long? Deep? Oh fuck!


	7. Kiss me to death

With his pointer finger, Ethan traced circles on my stomach. The tip of his fingernail caused chills to spread over my body as he lazily went up and down. I let out a frustrated whimper as his finger circled my belly button.

"Ethan, please do something." My husky, needy voice sounded foreign even to me. 

His upper body was hovering over me, so when he smirked it was right in front of my face. The urge to bit those plump, I'm-getting-away-with-something lips was over powering. All I had to do was lift my head. 

"I am doing something," Ethan said.

Seth, who was lying on the opposite side of me, facing Ethan, chuckled before darting his tongue out and licking the auricle of my ear. "Maybe if you were more specific," Seth whispered. The moist heat from his whispered words caused strands of my hair to cling to the column of my throat.

"Are you asking me to talk dirty?" I asked curiously. "You know, last time I did that Ethan clammed up on me and I found out just how much cold showers do not work for the female party. So if that's what you're—"

Seth swooped down and placed a quick, chaste kiss against my lips. "That's what I'm saying. I promise Ethan will be fine this time. Won't you, Babe?"

Ethan's confirming nod didn't match his furrowing brows. "Sure. Yeah—" he paused to clear his throat, his teasing caresses against my midriff completely stopping. 

"Wow. Talk about a confidence boost, Ethan," I said.

Ethan offered a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his neck. "You know, Cass, I just—I'm just not used to you talking like that to me."

I rolled my eyes and pushed myself up on my elbows, bringing my face closer to his. "I always talked to you that way."

"Yeah, but not meaning it and now you're meaning it."

I kissed him. It was the only thing I could think of to keep him from continuing. My top lip touched his bottom lip and the burn that started when my tongue touched his made my toes curl. One thing for sure about Ethan was the man could kiss. He could kiss my socks off. If kissing were a job he'd make a killing. He'd be the richest man alive. I whined when he pulled away to breathe. Who needed air, right? He could kiss me to death for all I cared.

"We've had that conversation before," I mumbled. 

"I know. It's just—"

"Weird?" I offered, raising an eyebrow. "I'll start off slow then. Will that be okay?"

Ethan nodded and Seth rubbed his hands together with anticipation. "Finally, let's get this show on the road," Seth said. 

"Ethan, get on top of me," I demanded. 

It only occurred to me after he settled his narrow hips against mine that he still had his sweat pants on. The rough material and the knot from his drawstring bumped against me and I bit my lip to keep from making any noise. I felt the tickling of my eyelashes fluttering against my cheeks and the burn on my lower lip as I bit down harder. 

"I can't get comfortable with you moving like that," Ethan said.

I stilled my gyrating hips instantly, not realizing I'd even been moving. It wasn't easy either. Every time he breathed against me, my heart felt like it was trying to escape through my rib cage and my thighs trembled to keep from clenching around him. If this continued, anticipation would be the culprit that killed me. 

I watched as Seth moved towards Ethan, the subtle crisp pine scent of his cologne making me wiggle slightly in pleasure as he passed by like a feline about to pounce. He slipped his hand through Ethan's rumpled golden hair as he continued onwards. I pushed myself up; wanting to see where it was Seth was going and almost fell back down from my trembling. I managed to lock my elbows before falling and I tilted my head to the side, my eyes following Seth as he straddled Ethan's lower back. The added weight against me was surprisingly pleasant. I let out a breath and cautiously reached around Ethan to gently settle my hands against Seth's hips, pulling him down so that he rocked into Ethan and Ethan into me. 

"Oh God," I whimpered, but resisted the urge to close my eyes. I wanted to see what Seth was going to do to Ethan.

When Seth made a wiggling motion, Ethan dropped his flushed, burning hot cheek against my breast, his hot breathing making me ache with need. He slid his arms beneath me and the couch and held me tight. His mewling and gentle jerking made me too curious. I had to ask. I needed to know. 

"What are you doing?" I asked Seth as he reached between Ethan and me.

I inhaled sharply as I felt Seth's fingers bump between my legs. My elbows shook, but I managed to stay upright. I glanced down between the small space between my body and Ethan's, watching Seth's hand maneuver between us. His nimble fingers tugged the drawstring loose from Ethan's pants. 

"Taking his pants off," Seth said, with a teasing wolf-like grin. "Remember Ethan, if you stop, I stop."


	8. Bang-lish

The tip of Ethan's elbows rested in the curves of my shoulders, his forearms on either side of my head, and his hands held my head in place as he dropped teasing kisses against my lips. Every time I tried to deepen the kiss he pulled away with a playful knowing smirk lingering.

"Ethan."

"What?"

I heaved a sigh. "I'm gonna have a baby before you're ever able to stick it in me."

He rolled his green eyes and dropped his forehead to mine. "Does Seth need to have a talk with you? You know, about how babies are made? I mean-"

With awkward grace –well, graceful to me at least— I slipped an arm up and gently placed my hand over his mouth, the stubble from his jaw tickling my palm. "There are more ways to get pregnant than sex. I just don't want to be a virgin when the kid's coming out."

"Um—wait what?" Seth asked.

"This is not a discussion that's on the table right now. We need to get into the mood. Stop speaking American English and start speaking American Banglish. You know? Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya!" I said and lifted my panty clad hips, bumping against Ethan. 

"That's what you consider Banglish, a quote from Grumpy Old Men?" Seth snorted before looking at Ethan. "What is Banglish?"

"I'm assuming it's Cassie's version of dirty talk."

I hissed at them with the help from the tiny gap between my front teeth. Pushing my lower lip out, I pouted. "It's Grumpier Old Men. Get it right...come on. Get out of your skivvies and let's screw. Please?"

Ethan frowned. His steady gaze made me want to shrink back and suddenly I had a feeling my Deflower Me plan wasn't going to happen. "What did you do, Cass?" Ethan asked. "Was that your sly way of saying you want a kid?"

Pursing my lips, I sank into the lumpy couch pillow beneath my head and settled in. "Do I look like an idiot? I'm too young for a kid. Doesn't mean other people don't want one. I met a lady-a couple-and they can't have kids. She has something going on where she can't physically carry. They're gonna pay me a lot of money, Ethan. Four semester's worth of money. Do you know how much that is? I won't have to work as much and I can focus on school more. I mean I might have to cut down for ten months, but it'll be worth it."

Seth shook his head and pulled away. "Whoa. Did I-did you just—wait what?"

Leaving his forehead against mine, Ethan's eyes seemed to penetrate me. "You know, your eyes aren't the only penetration I need right now."

"I'm not entirely sure this is a joking time," Seth said.

Giving a mock gasp, I turned to Seth. "Oh my God, the world is ending!"

"Cassie, did you volunteer to be a surrogate?" Ethan whispered against my lips. 

I bit my lip and nodded, mentally hitting myself for even bringing it up. "Yeah. I mean, it's great money, but not only that I get to help a wonderful couple get what they want. I've spent time with them and they're really cute together."

The cold air seeped into my bare skin as Ethan tried to pull away. Like a snake I wound my arms around his neck and my thighs around his waist, clamping down and pulling him closer. "Don't," I said. "I do want this. I wanted it before I overheard them talking about it. Having sex with you, having you be my first—it's been on my mind since we were seventeen. It's not an overnight thought. While I kind of made it seem that way, it's not that way. Sure that party with you all wet really amped me up, but-"

Ethan's blonde eyebrow rose as he cut me off. "Is being a surrogate an overnight thought? Cassie, if you need money I'll give it to you."

I shook my head. "It's not that. No, I mean it isn't only that. She was so upset. I mean, if you could've seen her face when she told him she couldn't—I had to do something. And, yes, maybe at first I did kind of blurt it out that I'd be willing to carry, but after all the legal stuff went down I knew I was doing the right thing. That's actually when they offered the money and no way could I decline it; in fact they offered me a lot more, but I told them I wasn't doing it solely for the money."

Ethan settled further onto me. My hips cradled him as his hand brushed hair from my forehead. His thumb traced the curve of my eyebrow before he placed a kiss against the bridge of my nose. "Well, when does it happen?"

"After this semester is over...You guys wanna be my surrogate papa's for ten months?"

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"The sex? Hell yes. Give it to me baby!"

Seth sighed and I noticed that he'd kept his distance. "That's not what he meant."

"I know," I said, trying to ignore the solemn, distant tone in Seth's voice. "I know, but it is something that I want to do. I want to help them." I turned to Seth. "Why are you so far away?" I reached out and clamped a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back to my side. "I don't expect you guys to help, Seth. Don't have a cow! I can do it myself. I don't want you guys to think you have to help—either of you. This is my choice and I won't burden you with it."

"You could never be a burden to me, Cass. Of course, I'll be there to help," Ethan said with an encouraging smile and a simple shrug. "One day I'm hoping you'll do the same for me."

I smiled up at him and hugged him with the one arm I still had around him. Turning my head, my cheek nestling into the pillow beneath me, I stared at Seth. "What do you say?"

"I don't—I mean it just got real serious in here. It's a little overwhelming. From 80 to 0 in one second and I'm floppin' here," Seth said, gesturing between his legs. He gave a quick glance to Ethan. "I'll help with what I can, but only if you both promise that we can leave the serious talk outside of the bedroom."

Chuckling, I quickly glanced around. "We are outside of the bedroom."

Seth frowned. "We should change that. You don't want to lose it on a shaggy rug and a tattered pillow on the floor. Ethan, show me those delicious muscles and pick her up."

When we got to Ethan's room I felt the seriousness Seth had been so desperate to get rid of thicken in the air. There was a different feel to it this time. The sexual undertone sent chills all over my body as Ethan laid me down on his cool sheets. My mouth watered as I realized my slip of the tongue hadn't changed anything. Things were about to get steamy.


	9. French Kiss

Ethan bared his teeth in a growl and his eyelids fluttered. Whatever it was Seth was doing, Ethan was fully enjoying it. I couldn't help the niggling need making its way through my body, demanding I get a better view so I could watch them, but as I went to move, Ethan's hands grabbed my upper thighs so tightly his fingers dug into me. I cringed slightly, but remained still as he pushed me open more. 

Full skin-to-skin contact was way better than I imagined. 

"It's a lot like a French kiss," Seth said in a gentle whisper against Ethan's ear.

Ethan snorted a harrumph. "I'm not completely stupid."

"What?" I asked, suddenly having trouble breathing. I'd been so involved with Ethan's dick resting against my thigh that I hadn't noticed they'd been talking.

"Then what's the hold up?" Seth asked, ignoring my breathy question. 

Ethan turned his head, letting the corner of his mouth play up into a smirk, but he didn't say anything as he slid his naked chest against the tips of my breast. "Wh-where are you going?" I asked, shivering from the contact.

I swallowed and bit my lip as Ethan's wide shoulders forced my thighs apart, holding my breath with anticipation as his mouth hovered, but he didn't move. The smirk on his face as his eyes darted up did me in. I collapsed and my upper body dropped against the warming sheets like a ragdoll. I spread my arms out on either side of me in limped disbelief. 

I couldn't believe it. What a douche! "Would you stop teasing me?"

"Since Seth interrupted, I'll have to start all over again," Ethan said, falling down to his elbows but keeping his lower body supported, in the air, on his knees.

It took a second for that warning to sink in, but when it did my hands shot forward, clutching Ethan's hair. "No! Please. Ethan. Your little kisses all over my neck and chest were great, but let's get this show on the road."

"I didn't interrupt anything. I suggested, you decided, I encouraged. There was no interruption," Seth said with a pout. "You're teasing me too. Do I need to get my whip, Ethan?"

Oh fuck. I was over stimulated, so while I still made a show of begging I knew my body was thankful for the rest after the large electric jolt shot threw me from Seth's question. The wild fire burning through me was only simmering, but damn did I need his mouth on me and his tongue inside me. I lifted my head to give them a pleading, lost look. Starting from the beginning would kill me for sure. It was just cruel unusual punishment at this point.

"I think you can take pity on her, Ethan. Just remember, Cassie, when it's your turn to give him a blow job not to just dive in. He likes the build up," Seth said.

A wet heat flooded between my legs and I bit my lip as it burned through me. Giving a man a blowjob had been the better part of my fantasies, which usually involved him sitting on my chest, and the idea that I might be able to try it soon lit me to the core. 

I nodded furiously. "Yeah, when it's my turn to blow you I'm gonna make you suffer so bad-" My warning cut off as I felt the tip of Ethan's wet tongue dart between my hot swollen pussy lips. When he pulled away I almost sobbed from the loss.

"It's not about the suffering," Ethan said softly, sounding slightly miffed. "I wouldn't make you suffer, Cassie."

Yeah right!

"Ethan..." The dramatic drawling of his name from Seth pushed Ethan forward. Or rather Seth pushed Ethan's head down further between my legs.

And suddenly, as he placed gentle, sucking kisses against me, I felt like I was in the middle of running a marathon. My chest was heaving from exertion that hadn't happened. And I had no clue what to do with my hands. So I settled them low on my stomach, making the tips of my fingers brush against the curve of my Heart Attack cut. 

"Watch her," Seth said. He spoke with such husky force and volume that it startled a tiny yelp out of me and caused my thighs to tighten around Ethan's head.

I quickly slackened the pressure and glanced down worriedly, knowing my face was red like blood and spreading down to my chest. "Sorry," I whispered.

He didn't bother with a response as he thrust his face into me so that his tongue could slip through the wet folds and his nose could bump against my clit. 'More' was the only thought in my mind as my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I struggled to stay still. I pushed my palms down and up, letting the pressure intensify the feeling of him licking me.

My hand lifted of its own accord, leaving its mate behind still resting on my hip, applying pressure, and before I knew what I was doing, I dropped it on top of his soft, fluffy hair. That very hair was currently tickling the insides of my thighs as he literally started French kissing me between my legs.

He had to be a pro. He had to be. It wouldn't feel so fucking good otherwise. My hand clenched in his hair as his nose hit my clit again. A muffled whimper vibrated in my throat as he did it again, causing my hips to pump forward. 

"That's it." Seth voice was so much deeper than before that my eyes popped open and I lifted my head to watch them. "Oh fuck, do you see it in her eyes? She's feeling it."

I wanted to talk dirty too. I loved it and Seth's words had a slew of them forming in my head, but I couldn't get the breath to say any of them. All I could do was bite my lip and try to catch my breath. The faint smell of musk and sex only seemed to get me hotter, and I couldn't tell if it was the scent or the sound of him sucking my clit that really did me in. I caved and lifted my other hand to his head, trying not to grip his hair too tightly. 

I screamed when he pulled away and pushed his tongue inside me. How I had the lung capacity to scream was beyond me because my chest was burning from the lack of oxygen. I could not catch my breath. It wasn't helping that Ethan would flatten his tongue out inside me then switch to a darting spear. 

"Your hand!" It was all I could manage and thankfully Ethan understood. He kept his tongue pushing in and out of me, but lifted his hand, managing to part my lips so that he could rub my clit with his thumb.

My neck arched backwards and my mouth dropped open wanting to emit the scream that was threatening to escape, but no sound came out. My stomach and hips rippled, almost like I was belly dancing against Ethan's mouth, all the while pulling him closer.

"That's so fucking hot." Seth growled and before I knew it, he'd swooped down, capturing my lips in a smoldering kiss. My eyes widened and my back arched instinctually, pushing my head up, so that I could kiss him deeper. 

When the hell had he moved away from Ethan? 

I darted my tongue out, touching the tip of it to his, only to have him grunt in approval. His hands came up, cupping my head, and pulling up at the same time so that my breasts brushed against his shirt. Seth was literally lifting me off the bed, so I slipped up Ethan's face. I muffled my protests against Seth, but stopped when Ethan followed my hips. His hands slipped under my ass, pulling me tighter into his face as he sucked and thrust at the same time.

I was suffocating, breathing so heavily I couldn't see how the kiss had managed to last so long. I had to breathe, so I jerked my head away. He let me pull my lips from his face, but Seth held me close still. His warm breath came in short staccatos against my cheek as he watched me. The swiveling in my hips was frantic in an attempt to orgasm. It was to the point where I couldn't decide if it was Ethan fucking me with his tongue, or me fucking his tongue.

Seth, still holding my head in place, forced me to make eye contact with him as he brushed his nose against mine, "Are you close?" he asked, his hot, peppermint tinted breath spreading across my cheek. I captured his deliciously flavored tongue and sucked before pulling away with a quick kiss to his lips, letting out a breathless sigh as an affirmative. 

At least, I thought it was close, but it was just out of my grasp. I felt like I was losing my mind and my back started to ache from all the arching it was doing. Eventually, I slipped out of Seth's clutches, falling against the bed. I noticed, as I was falling, that Ethan had been staring at us, and his eyes followed as I fell. 

I could feel my frustration festering. I was so close, but I needed more. "Seth. Touch me," I said, pulling a hand from Ethan's head to guide Seth's hand to one of my breasts.

He didn't hesitate and when his calloused fingers tweaked my nipple I knew it wouldn't be much longer. I felt I couldn't stand it anymore, but then my eyes slammed shut when I felt the wetness of Seth's tongue as he replaced his teasing fingers with his mouth. One swipe, two, three and time seemed to freeze as the knot that had built in my lower back snapped. I shouted out with surprise, my voice hoarse from a lack of water and air.

This wasn't the surprisingly gentle surface orgasm I'd had earlier either. This one was deep. So powerful, in fact, that my entire body shook like I was having an epileptic seizure. My hips were rolling wildly up, straining to get every last bit of its exquisiteness. I gripped Ethan's hair, pulling him, pushing him harder into me as I rode his thrusting tongue. Oh my God and fuck, fuck, fuck, were the mantras flowing off my tongue. I didn't have time for anything else. My hips were wild beneath him and his hands, which had been gripping my ass, had to slide up around my thighs, onto my midriff to hold me down because I wasn't just riding his tongue anymore, but his face.

And it was still coming.

I frantically folded my thighs around the back of Ethan's neck, locking my feet together. With my thighs and hands keeping him in place as I fucked his face, another scream erupted from my mouth as the orgasm wrecked havoc on my system.

"Oh my fucking God!" 

I squealed as it shot through me, my thighs clenching against Ethan's ears. His fingers dug into my ass, slipped up towards my thighs again, and jerked away to breathe. Ethan pushed against the pressure my hands were exerting on his head and managed to fully pull away, inhaling sharply. The massive breath he took released, puffing air against my already sensitive area. It was enough to make me cry out desperately from the additional stimulation and my hips jerked up one last time, knocking into his chin, before dropping to the floor. 

Shivering deeply, gasping for breath, while my whole body continued to twitch. All I could think, as the seemingly never ending aftershocks jolted through me, was that if I could just get to my side I'd be able to calm down. I managed somehow to do just that, my back facing Ethan and Seth, as I lifted my legs from Ethan's shoulders and curled my knees up into my chest wrapping my arms around them, holding them tightly to me. I released a hoarse whine as another wave, not as powerful as the first, but enough to make me think it was never going to end, shot through me.

"Cassie?"

It was Ethan, but I shook my head. There was no way I could talk as whimpers spilled from my mouth and then someone touched me. "Shit," I said, crying out as the touch ignited sparks along my extremely sensitive skin. "Please don't touch me. I can't stop..." My whisper cut off and I clenched my thighs tightly together. I could just imagine the picture I made, curled in a ball, wiggling as I gasped, moaned, and panted from a this pleasure trip. 

"Damn. I knew your tongue was amazing, but now I'm pretty sure it's graduated to fucking spectacular," Seth said, his voice tinged with admiration. "First time I've seen such a hard orgasm outside of a porno." I heard a back slap before the edges of my vision seemed to be shifting from bright fireworks to dying stars. 

I felt like warm jell-o when Ethan bent down to lift me to his chest. I hummed in satisfaction, wrapping my arms around his neck and pointing the tips of my toes as I smiled brightly up at him. 

He shook his head, a playful smirk touching his lips as he hugged me to his chest. "I gather you enjoyed that."

I snorted and wiggled my head. "Well, you gathered correctly. Are you sure you haven't done that before? My goodness..."

"I'm sure. How do you feel?" Ethan asked.

I'd never felt better or so alive. My body felt loose, relaxed—sluggish even—and I laughed my happiness. "My body is vibrating still!" I turned my head to look at Ethan. "It was so amazing Ethan." I whispered and leaned forward to kiss him gently, desperately wanting to show him my gratitude. "Thank you."

Ethan lowered me to the bed as Seth took his position once again behind Ethan. Seth loomed over him like a dark genie come to grant me wishes. I bit my bottom lip with anticipation. It was time.

"Are you ready?" Ethan whispered against my lips. 

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you?"


	10. List-less

"No," Ethan said, shaking his head. His rumpled hair shook into his green eyes, and he pulled back from me.

"Why not?" I asked with a pout, folding my arms across my chest.

"Cassie, I am not sitting on your chest so you can suck me off. I thought we were going to have intercourse here."

I snorted. "Intercourse... yes, we are, but we can still explore."

Ethan scowled down at me as Seth rubbed the back of his neck, still blinking in surprise from my request. Neither of them should be surprised really. It wasn't the first time I'd requested something out of the box and it wouldn't be the last. 

"Maybe that's something we can build up to, Cassie," Seth said.

"I've been a virgin for a long time. There's a lot of stuff I want to do to you... to both of you before I go and get knocked up. There's a list, took me all night to write it! Of course, I left it on my nightstand in my apartment."

"Being knocked up doesn't mean you can't still do those things on the list," Ethan said.

Shrugging my shoulders, I loosely wrapped my arms around Ethan's back pulling him back against me. "I know. There just my sexual goals. Like I'd like to complete them before I get morning sickness and fat."

Seth gave me a curious look. "What's on this list?"

I started listing off my finger, "Doggy style, anal, giving a blow job, double penetration... I looked up some stuff that seemed pretty interesting too, but I can't remember what they're called."

I held in my smile as I noticed the reddish tinge to Ethan's cheeks. Was he embarrassed? Did it turn him on me talking like that? I didn't know. This was all new territory.

Seth raised his hand. "I'll do it."

Ethan lifted an eyebrow. "What is it that you'll do, Seth?"

"I'll sit on her chest and let her blow me."

"Really?" I asked excitedly.

"She doesn't even know how to give a regular blowjob, Seth!"

I shrugged, shaking my head so that my hair was completely off my shoulders. My breasts bounced with the movement and I had to bite my lip to keep from grinning at Ethan as I watched his gaze follow the movement. What we'd done yesterday and what we'd built up to tonight must have made him more aware of me in a sexual manner. That thought made me giddy.

Shifting beneath Ethan, I let my hand slowly trail down the side of his hip. "I could practice on you," I offered. "Seth, can help me out. Besides, I've done a lot of research."

Seth slipped behind Ethan before he could answer. I expected him to do something particularly raunchy to him, but he simply turned Ethan's head to capture his lips in a passionate kiss. Ethan let his eyelids drift shut. Seth's hand was wrapped loosely around Ethan's throat, his fingers curved and resting on his jaw as Seth devoured. I hated to interrupt the kiss, but still took the opportunity to kneel on the floor, directly between him and the bed.

I inhaled and exhaled twice to amp up my nerve before reaching forward and tugging at the drawstring of his sweat pants. Swallowing, I kept my eyes glued to his waist. 

It wasn't like I hadn't ever seen one before. I had, on the internet... plenty of times, but this was Ethan. And this was really happening. I had to build up. I couldn't just dive in, which is what I kept telling myself as I leaned forward to place a kiss against his hip bone. 

The tiny groan he let out made me pull back to look up at him. It was surprising to see his hooded gaze focused on me. I'd fully expected him to still be invested in that delicious kiss he'd been sharing with Seth. 

My face burned. I dropped my gaze and my hands from his waist. Pulling away wasn't an option, there was only so far back I could go. So I sat there. My breath teased his exposed skin. Moisture bounced back to me, and still I sat, contemplating what I knew I wanted to do. 

"Cassie?" Ethan's husky unasked question made my eyelids flutter. 

Nodding, I reached up and tugged on his hands, linking his fingers with mine before guiding his behind my head. "I want your hands here," I whispered the words so softly I wasn't sure he'd heard them at first.

When his grip tightened, the dull pain from the pulling of my hair let me know he'd heard me. I reached forward and tugged his sweat pants down, but remained still. Nothing continued to happen. 

Maybe he doesn't get it, I thought. 

I pushed my head back, applying pressure on his hands as much as I could. A rather pathetic whimper rumbled in his throat and finally he pulled my face towards him. A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth and just as my mouth was inches away, I turned my face so that the side of his semi-hard cock bumped into my cheek. 

"You're so smart, Ethan. I knew you'd get it eventually," I said, peeking up at him.

Seth chuckled, his eyes locked on the scene before him. "She's playful and she knows what she wants. I like that," he said before tonguing Ethan's earlobe.

Ethan raised an eyebrow and pulled one his hands from the back of my head. I almost protested, but the now free hand gripped my jaw, stopping me. He forced my mouth open by applying enough pressure into the indent of my cheeks. With my mouth wide open in front of his cock, he stared down at me with an expression I'd only seen when Seth turned him on.

"Maybe I could get used to this," he mumbled, letting his thumb tug my bottom lip.

"Hell yes," Seth said. 

The burning flush that had started in my face was topping the curves of my breasts and I could feel it continuing to spread further down as he held me in place, posing my face like a doll. If the lights were brighter in his room I knew they'd be able to see the redness spreading. 

I kept eye contact for as long as I possibly could. That is, until Seth slid his hand down Ethan's arm and pulled at his elbow bringing my face forward. Ethan's musky scent, a mix of sex and pine soap greeted me. My tongue darted out, licking up the curve of his ball sack. Ethan let out gasp and his hands tightened painfully in my hair. A tiny spark ignited in my groin causing a new slickness to accumulate between my legs. Ethan still was only semi-hard. 

Just as I was wondering if Seth was going to do his job, I watched from my peripheral vision as Seth's hands dropped to Ethan's thighs, coaxing them apart for me, giving me more room. I let my tongue explore. His salty taste made me hum against the side of his shaft as I placed slow, partially open-mouthed kisses on him. 

Vaguely, I heard fumbling behind Ethan. A drawer opening. A squish of something squirting. The noise was enough to make me try to pull away, but Ethan's grip tightened and held me in place. 

"It's the watermelon. I forgot to get more of the heating lube," Seth said between the tiny kisses that made smacking noises in the air.

Ethan grunted, not seeming to care. His hips wiggled and I wasn't sure if it was to get my attention back on him, or for something Seth was doing behind him. Ethan let out a boyish whimper and his hips thrust backwards then forwards pushing harder against my lips. 

Now Ethan was fully erect. He was so hard it looked painful and even took on a purplish hue. I pulled his hand away from my jaw, putting it back behind my head, wanting to be in control of at least one situation. I puckered my lips against the mushroom shaped tip of his cock and gave him a sweeping lick. 

I lifted my gaze, smirking up at the both of them. Ethan inhaled sharply through his nose and a few seconds later whispered harsh words against Seth's neck. Seth's intense gray eyes watched me as I continued to lick at Ethan like I had that cherry popsicle the night before. 

It was fun practicing, but this was way better.

When I heard the faint rustling of Seth's shorts dropping around his ankles, my eyes widened. Further along than I originally thought, I dropped my gaze in time to see Seth's large hands gripping Ethan's hips from behind, adjusting him upwards. 

It wasn't quick. It wasn't rough or jerking like it had been in that Brokeback Mountain movie. It was smooth, just like they'd been doing it for awhile. And I supposed they had been. 

Seth curved around Ethan's back with his arms wrapped around his stomach. Seth's eyes slammed shut as his hips rocked forward. As Seth pushed into Ethan, Ethan pushed into my mouth. It was an incredibly erotic moment as his cock popped in and out every time Seth thrust against him. 

My thighs clenched when Ethan let out a gasp as Seth bit into his neck. Sudden pressure from Ethan's hands against the back of my head pushed him farther into my mouth. His hands had remained there, but had been so lightly touching that I'd forgotten about them. The fact that his hands remained told me that he wanted me to... that realization succeeded where none of the previous actions up to this point had. It made me so hot that I could feel the wetness clinging to the sheets beneath me. 

A sudden smacking noise of Seth's hips slamming into Ethan's ass echoed. Watching porn had nothing on the startled shout from Ethan as Seth let loose another series of hard thrusts and what happened next nearly killed me. Ethan pulled my face into him, forcing his way fully past my lips, over my tongue, and down my throat, completely lifting my ass off the bed, like he was trying to crawl into my mouth.

I wanted this, but I wasn't ready for that. My forearms slammed against his hips pushing at him as I pulled away coughing. My eyes watered as I hacked into my hand. 

"Fuck," Ethan said, followed by a string of groaning apologies. 

Clearing my throat, I waved him off. "It's okay. I wasn't ready. I don't have much of a gag reflex, but be careful because I do still have one," I said, licking my lips as I finally got a decent view of Seth fucking Ethan. 

Talk about a gift to mankind. I knew, in that moment, that I loved watching and hearing their rough fucking. I also knew that I was going to like it rough too. The thought made me grit my teeth with anticipation. I shimmied my chest as I shifted backwards, ignoring the mixture of worry and need in Ethan's eyes as I watched him focus on me. I let my shoulders rest low on the head board of the bed and tilted my head up. 

"I'm ready now," I said.


	11. Topping Art

Ethan's head rolled forward and he let out a helpless groan. Seth thrust harder into him, pushing Ethan closer. Seth repeated the movement two more times until it was either move forward or let Seth slip out of him. I bit my lip when Ethan was finally leaning over me. His hips were lined with my face, and his knees were almost touching the headboard on either side of my shoulders. I lifted my arms above my head, waiting for him to fall into me, but it seemed Seth wasn't going to help anymore. I raised an eyebrow as the skin smacking got louder and quicker. A loud, drawn out groan from Seth, a yelp from Ethan, and then the fast pace Seth had set slowed. 

Ethan fell forward, bracing his hands against the wall above me. I expected his hips to thrust forward, so my mouth opened and I waited, but when it didn't happen I got impatient. He was kneeling over my face, dangling above my mouth, I could've lifted my head, but that wasn't what I wanted.

"Come on, Ethan, fuck my mouth," I demanded, hoping he wouldn't say no.

Seth moaned. "That dirty mouth is begging for it, Ethan. Fuck her."

"I can't," Ethan said whimpering, but it was like his cock was magnetically charged to dip into my mouth, because he circled his hips forward. "I don't want to hurt you."

Deciding to meet him half way, I used the muscles in my neck to lift my face up, taking him deeper. It was scarier doing it than watching it, but I tried to relax my throat muscles. I let out a happy groan as he finally took the initiative and thrust.

His hands, which had been holding his upper body mostly off me, slipped down the wall to clutch my head and hold me in place. I was ready for it this time. Ethan let out tiny, pleasurable grunts and his fingers tightened, almost pulling my hair.

This is what I wanted, I thought.

The need to see Ethan's face caused me to awkwardly lift my gaze, but all I saw were his abs flexing with each thrust and his hair brushing against the wall. With Seth's help, Ethan's hips were now thrusting faster, causing me to drool. The lubrication from my saliva helped Ethan slide deeper every time. Not wanting to gag again, I pushed my forearms up enough to keep his hips from pushing too far—just shy of hitting the back of my throat. According to my grape popsicle, any stimulation at the far back of my throat and I was gagging.

Within the time span of five minutes, I learned three things: the closer Seth was to an orgasm the more verbal he got; the closer Ethan was to an orgasm the louder he got; and deep throating hurt after awhile.

The 'fuck me Ethan's' and 'that's it baby cum in Cassie's hot little mouth,' from Seth plus the whining half screams from Ethan was enough to mostly cancel out the uncomfortable third realization. A charge vibrating in my groin sent tingling jolts all the way to the tips of my toes as Seth's words made me blush and Ethan's cries got louder.

I flattened my palms against Ethan's midriff, pushing as his thrusting hips became wild, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. Holding himself up with one elbow, he let his free hand slide up the side of my face to the top of my head. His fingers clamped down, holding me in place. His balls smacked against my chin and his shouts' bounced off the walls. 

Ethan was so rough I was worried he'd go too deep, but in the end it wasn't the tip of his cock hitting the back of my throat. It was the warm squirt of semen. I'd heard horror stories of the taste, but it was almost effortless swallowing it down and sucking him at the same time. It was definitely an acquired taste, but it wasn't all that bad. 

Ethan's voice cracked as his orgasmic cries got louder. He trembled above me. His fingers curled in my hair once again. His hips stilled as he gasped for breath, but I could feel Seth's continued thrusts. Ethan was shaking so hard I thought he might collapse and suffocate me, but Seth quickly shuffled him upwards, keeping Ethan standing, and his back flush against him. Seth kept his hips pumping against Ethan's ass, but his hand reached down for me. He gestured for me to get up. Shuffling my feet under my ass I got to my knees, and before I knew it, my upper body was against Ethan's chest. 

I glanced down at the squashed rise of my breasts against him. Ethan wrapped his arms around me, pulling me up and away from the wall. It was just in time because Seth pushed us all down onto the bed. I didn't realize how hot I was until the cool, damp sheets, touched my bare back. 

I thought Ethan was going to do it then... take my virginity. So I helped by spreading my legs and pushing my hips up. His elbows were digging into my shoulders, but I didn't care because I was finally going to feel him inside me. I was finally going to lose my virginity to the only person I've ever wanted, but he shook his head no. 

Frowning, I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling at the rejection. Was it a rejection? 

My heart hurt, but that was only partially why I wanted to cry out with frustration. I was more turned on in this moment than I'd been when he'd been sucking my clit. Deep throating cock was the biggest aphrodisiac in the world... to me. I hadn't even realized how much my pussy was aching until Ethan said no.

I felt Seth thrusting into Ethan, forcing his hips into mine. The feel of him limp and damp from my spit was a horrible reminder that the physical act I'd wanted wasn't going to happen. I turned my head, so that my face was against the sheet, my eyes staring at the wall. I was hurt. I was mad. I was horny as fuck. And Ethan said no. 

"Oh, Cassie." Ethan was making grunting noises as Seth continued to jerk into him, but he managed to reach for my face, and turn my gaze back towards him. He ran his thumb along my eyebrow. "You know it's not that I don't want you, right? I can't bounce back so quickly, you know?" he whispered, leaning down to kiss my lips, all the while accepting Seth's frantic thrusts. Skin smacking against skin was becoming louder and Seth's dirty dialogue morphed into helpless groans. 

I frowned, moving with them as the bed creaked and moaned in protest. Wow do I feel stupid. Of course that's what it was. I gave a snort and gave him a small smile. 

"God," Ethan growled, letting his thumb pull at my lips. "I think I really do love this mouth." He leaned down and captured my lips in the deepest, most emotion filled kiss he'd ever given me. 

When Seth finally finished, he collapsed against Ethan's back, causing me to grunt from all the added weight. Pulling away from Ethan, I reached around and smacked Seth's back. "Hey, I only like this kind of torture when I'm turned on. Get off me!" 

"You're not turned on anymore?" Seth asked, his voice breathless from exertion. It was the hint of drowsiness in his voice that had me worried. 

"Sort of. I thought Ethan—well, you know-- I didn't realize it was because he already had an orgasm. It kind of ruined the moment for me. Stupid moment on my part, but seriously, get off me. I can't breathe. I don't want you both to fall asleep on me!"

Seth rolled off, made a small 'oomph-ing' noise as he settled in, and let out a small snore. I snorted in disbelief. "Unbelievable."

I shifted under Ethan, dropping my raised knees down. "Ethan, I mean it. If you fall asleep on me I'm going to kick you," I said, not fully believing my own warning. It wasn't so bad having one guy lying on top of me.

He nuzzled his nose into my neck and placed kisses against the curve of my jaw. "We'll make it up to you," he promised as he lifted his hand to cup the side of my cheek. 

Finally, he shifted his lower body off of me, leaving his sweaty chest on my side, and smashing my breasts under his arm. Stunned, I turned to watch his eyes drifting shut and when they fully closed I tried to pull away, but his arm tightened around me, bringing me towards him.

"This is just beyond rude," I mumbled, wiggling under Ethan's weight.

They'd been satisfied, but I hadn't and now I was being partially squished. I was seriously thinking about leaving, until I felt Ethan drop his shoulder, applying more weight against me. I lifted my gaze and found his once closed eyes, wide open. He watched me with surprising intensity for someone so sleepy and my breath caught.

When one of his fingers slipped inside me, I was so startled that my hand shot to his wrist, gripping him tightly, only stopping him for a second. I swallowed and shot Ethan a surprised look. My mouth dropped open as I started to speak, but any words I'd been about to say cut off as my eyelashes fluttered against my cheeks. It didn't take long for soft whimpering moans to escape my throat. I shifted against his hand, letting his palm apply pressure against my clit.

"Cassie, look at me," Ethan said, his voice sounding sleepier than I'd anticipated.

Clearly, you aren't into this as much as I am. I didn't let that thought stop me from lifting my hips closer though. I was going to take what I could get.

I popped my eyes open when he stopped. "Don't stop," I whispered.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a droopy, sleepy smile. "Then you better keep your eyes open and look at me."

"Ethan—" 

Whatever I was going to say caught in my throat as he thrust another finger inside me. I clutched his arm as it pushed up and down my stomach. He dropped his forehead against mine, never breaking eye contact. It was like he was memorizing my face, searching my soul. He kissed me, once, twice, and then sucked on my bottom lip. I could almost pretend that this meant something, that we were just two people in love, pleasing each other.

Those are dangerous thoughts, Cassie. Remember, this isn't about love, the logical voice in my head spoke.

Not now, the illogical voice responded.

It was a simple surface orgasm, but it came swiftly enough that a startled gasp escaped my lips. I hugged Ethan's arm tighter to me, whimpering his name, and turning my body towards him as my hips pumped.

When it was over, he didn't pull his fingers out. He simply left them in place, gave me one last kiss, and settled deeply against me and the bed. When his breathing evened and I knew he was asleep, I still couldn't stop staring at him.

Is this really that moment? That moment when the woman realizes she might be confusing simple sex with love?

Ethan mumbled something into my shoulder, interrupting my thoughts. "What? Ethan, I didn't hear you," I whispered, breathing against his cheek.

"Love you, Cass," he said again before falling back to sleep.

My heart thumped in my chest and I swallowed. He wouldn't hear me so responding wouldn't hurt any. "I love you too, Ethan."

I should've been somewhat tired after that orgasm, even if it was just a simple one, but I wasn't even close. I had always loved Ethan, secretly I had known that, but this was the first time I'd spoken the words and actually meant romantic love instead of friendship love. My heart thumped in my chest as my gaze lingered on his peaceful, sleeping face. 

I'm in trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble.


	12. Yin-Yang

Staring at the ceiling gets pretty boring. Even if I was contemplating whether or not I was in love with my gay best friend, so eventually I did fall asleep. I must have. Or the squealing water pipes and fog rippling from Ethan's cracked-open bathroom door was all part of some erotic dream.

With the cooling white sheet wrapped around my bare shoulders, I got to my feet and padded towards the bathroom. The moisture from the steam of the shower clung to my skin as I fanned it out of my face and stuck my foot out. I nudged the door open with my big toe and peeked inside.

The water falling from the rain can showerhead above Ethan and Seth seemed to use their bodies like a playground. It played, it sculpted, it even rested in the dips of their shoulders and where their bellies touched. In a dictionary, the definition of beautiful would have a picture of this scene right next to it as an example. 

Seth whispered something in Ethan's ear and the heart stopping-smile he shot Seth made me ache. It wasn't like the burning lava of lust from before, this ache was different. I bit my lip, shifting my eyes down. It was hard to breathe as I clutched my chest. My heart was heavy; feeling like it would dislodge and drop to my feet at any moment. The acidic churn in my stomach intensified as Seth skimmed his teeth along the curve of Ethan's jaw. Knowing full well I should leave, I lifted my gaze back to them scowling because for the first time in my life I wanted to yank someone's hair out. 

Okay, maybe I was over exaggerating a bit. I didn't want to hurt Seth or Ethan, not really. But the longing to belong, to be there between them, made my fist clench around the wrinkled sheet I clutched to my chest. 

Should I interrupt?

The gentle, encouraging smile Ethan gave Seth spoke volumes. This was supposed to be a private moment between real lovers. It wasn't supposed to include a best friend Ethan and Seth occasionally indulged. 

The sharp pain that radiated through my jaw, from gritting my teeth, made me gasp. Jealousy wasn't pleasant, in fact it was downright painful. I could feel it eating away at me. And what was worse? I didn't have the right to be jealous. I knew what I was getting into when I asked for this. Didn't I know I could never fully belong to them? 

Leaning my head against the door, I watched them exchange tender kisses. With a smile, Ethan kneeled in front of Seth, lapping at the streaming water clinging to Seth's rippling stomach muscles as he went. When his knees settled on the tiled floor, Ethan thrust his face forward, but seemed to be in a teasing mood and pulled a few inches away at the last minute. It was clear he wasn't going to give in easily as he tongued the tip of Seth's dick. Seth's arms darted forward, slipping through Ethan's wet hair, pulling him closer, but Ethan resisted, offering a teasing, come-hither grin instead. 

"I wanna fuck your mouth," Seth said with a guttural growl.

Ethan's eyes glinted with mischief as he tilted his head to the side. Biting my lip, I swallowed as lingering traces of that ugly emotion burned away and shifted to a mild arousal tweaking between my legs. With care not to be loud, I let my knees collapse under me. The blanket wrapped around me and billowed to the floor with a gentle rustling as I dropped. I curved into myself, dropping my forehead to the tan carpeted floor. 

"Who's stopping you?" 

Huddled down on the ground made it hard to hear the muffled excitement of Seth encouraging Ethan forward, but I still managed to get the gist.

"God, I love you." Seth's laugh transitioned to a chopping high pitched gasp of pleasure.

Talk about a bucket of cold water. That mild arousal tingling in my stomach vanished. It was one thing to hear them having sex without me, but to hear Seth, of all people, throwing out 'I love you's' just wasn't expected. 

You knew this is how it was going to be, Cassie. Don't be butt hurt.

I thought I knew what I was doing anyway. Being above this whole 'love' thing used to be my forte. The girl most likely to never fall in love was me. Given my past, it was hugely understandable to everyone too. Yet it happened, right underneath my nose. I loved Ethan... and maybe to a lesser extent, Seth. I wanted them to love me like they loved each other. 

My lips parted at the realization and I inhaled sharply through my nose. Hints of Seth's cologne and pine soap from the bathroom didn't help clear any thoughts either so I knew it was true. I still wanted him. I wanted them both. But it's wrong, right? It's not even possible. Not really. To be in love with two gay guys that is. It wasn't possible... right?

"God," I whispered. 

Could I be in love with two gay guys?

Tears collected at the corners of my eyes and I lifted my gaze to watch them. My heart just didn't realize the complication this presented. And where this sexy, deep-throating blow job (apparently Ethan didn't have a gag reflex) should have been sexually stimulating and getting me hot, it was only hurting me. Every touch, every smile, every groan, every pleading whisper from Seth... it all came from a place I didn't know anything about. A place of love, a place where I didn't belong, and the one thought that kept knocking me was 'I wanted Ethan to love me that way, but now I want Seth to love me that way too.' I wanted it to be okay with them if I were to go in, let the sheet drop, and join them. 

God. I was either a whore or greedy. Or both. It was a hopeless thought for a hopeless situation. I was okay having virtually emotionless sex with two gay guys at the same time, but being in love with them was unacceptable. 

Seth cried out as one of Ethan's hands curled around Seth's ass and pushed forward. Given the thrusting movements of Ethan's arm I could only imagine what he was doing. Seth's clutching fingers pulled at Ethan's hair. 

Tilting my head to the side I focused my attention on Seth's face. His jaw jutted out, his lips parted, his face tipped towards the ceiling like he was receiving a miracle. And wasn't he about to? I'd heard prostate stimulated orgasms were intense.

Seth was beautiful; in different ways than Ethan. Seth was the night to Ethan's day with his darker, caramel colored skin and black hair. And, it made me wonder, if Seth was night and Ethan was day... where did I fit in? There's only yin to yang, nothing else. There was no long-term girl in this equation. I needed to get over this. 

Ethan was still going to pop my cherry. Nothing could change my mind about that, but I needed some distance if I wasn't going to become that obsessed girl, the one who wanted the two most important guys in her life to love no one else but her. I loathe that girl. I've seen that girl. And it never ends pretty for that girl. I couldn't be her. I was different.

Wobbling to my feet, I went to close the door, just as Seth shot his load down Ethan's throat. The boyish cry of release echoed off the walls and Seth's arms wrapped around Ethan's head, pulling him so close that his nose hit Seth's groin. Seth continued to pulse his hips in rough thrusts, and the once boyish cry changed into a long, animalistic growl. 

Toxic thoughts. Toxic. Toxic.

Ethan was gay. Seth was gay. They were gay for each other. And it wasn't going to change. I needed a mental boot camp to whip my thoughts into shape. I wasn't going to fall any deeper in the trap of love. I wouldn't lose my best friends because I couldn't deal with the truth. Ethan would take my virginity effectively solving the 'frustrated virgin syndrome' I'd been suffering from and everything would go back to the way it was. 

I glanced towards the ceiling, rolling my eyes as the thought continued to mangle and take over my brain. I've always loved Ethan. I could turn the toxic kind of love back into the friendship kind of love. It would be cake. And Ethan and Seth would never have to know the difference.

My bottom lip stung from biting it so hard, as I nodded my head furiously. I was still going o do, but tonight wasn't going to be the night. Not after my startling realization. It had to marinate and settle. I had to fully accept what had just happened so I could burn it away. 

I nodded again and quickly went to gather my work clothes, which had been thrown around the room from earlier. There was sticky mess on my top and I suddenly wished I'd been smart enough to bring an extra set of clothes. Leaving unannounced would get me an earful tomorrow, but I wasn't an expert in hiding my emotions, and unfortunately Ethan was an expert at reading me. As much as I wanted to be, I just wasn't that skilled. 

This was the only way they would never know. 

Blowing a kiss towards the bathroom door, I darted out of Ethan's room and quietly tiptoed to the front door. They could never know.

\---

Notice: Continuity. Also, Seth is bisexual, but because he's in an exclusive relationship with a guy Cassie views him as gay by technicality. That and she's not thinking clearly.


	13. Sexcathalons and Erototoxins pt 1

The bell above the Coffee Barn door dinged as someone walked in. It was a slow morning, so I was actually excited a customer had finally come in, but when I lifted my head and saw Seth striding up to the counter my heart sank. Flashbacks of last night made me swallow the lump in my throat. 

"Hey," I called to him. 

"Hey, where'd you go last night?" 

I shrugged. "I had to work early."

"You could've just stayed with us."

"I'll stay next time. I had laundry to do too," I said, giving him a small, timid smile.

He frowned and started drumming his fingers against the counter. "Are you okay?"

I widened my smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You just seem..." he trailed off.

"I get off in an hour. This day has just been dragging."

He nodded and licked his lips glancing at me. "Are you gonna be ready tonight?"

"For what?" I asked.

"For our sexcathalon," he said, cupping his hand over his mouth to keep it between the two of us.

"There's nobody here, Seth."

He shrugged. "Yeah, I noticed. I thought people loved coffee?"

"Apparently not on Saturdays, of course, it's only one o'clock. The drunkards don't usually get up until two or three. Then we'll get busy... right when I get off!"

"Drunkards. Who even says that anymore?"

I lifted my hand and pointed a finger at my nose, touching the tip and tilting my head, making a funny, cross eyed face at him. "Me!"

His smile was slow as it spread across his face. "So will you be? Ready?"

"Well, if I can get another show like last night, I should be...thanks to erototoxin."

"What the hell is that?"

"It's an addictive chemical that releases when watching porn."

"You were watching porn last night?"

I nodded as the bell above the Coffee Barn door dinged again. Giving a quick glance, I saw Ethan juggling his books and stray papers in his arms. I smirked and tilted my head, waiting for half a minute so when I answered Seth, Ethan would hear it too. "I was watching blow job porn, male on male... in a hot steamy shower."

Seth's belt of laughter startled a surprised look from Ethan as he came in on the butt end of the conversation. Ethan's dark blond eyebrows snapped together as he settled his book load on a squared, mahogany table next to the counter.

"Hey," he said, stopping next to Seth and giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

"You look tired," I mumbled.

Ethan's hair was rumpled and his eyes were red and drooping like he'd been awake all night studying, but I knew otherwise. Seth and Ethan must've stayed up well into the morning with each other. 

I wonder what they did... or what they talked about. 

"Yeah, I am. Midterms are coming up—I hope neither of you forgot—and I'm studying like crazy," Ethan said. "After you left, Seth and I stayed up talking when we should've been studying."

"Aw, there's my bookworm coming out to play," Seth said, biting his lip and raising a suggestive eyebrow. "Ever play Librarian, Cassie?"

"Um, not really. Why Librarian?"

Seth's eyes partially closed to slits as grinned at me. "We'll make Ethan dress up after you get off work. The earlier we start the longer we can play," he said with eyes twinkling in anticipation.

"Actually, I—" I started, but stopped, remembering Seth's dismissive reaction to my eventual summer surrogacy. "I mean, I have a doctor's appointment. You guys can come if you want, it's just a physical and vitamin follow up... you know how it is. They gotta make sure I'm healthy enough to carry the baby."

Seth's smile wiped off his face, but Ethan didn't seem to notice as he nodded his head. "We'll go."

"Um—" Seth started. "I'll pass."

"Seth—"

Seth shrugged and interrupted Ethan. "You know doctors make me twitchy."

Ethan frowned. "Yeah, okay."

Seth cleared his throat and licked his bottom lip. The atmosphere between the three of us felt suddenly awkward, like we were all dancing around cracked shells trying not to piss anyone off. I bit my lip, waiting for someone else to talk.

"So, Cassie, that shower scene..." Seth said. "How would you rate it?"

With a quick smile, I breathed a sigh of relief as that building tension stopped and teeter-totted my hand in the air, "Eh, five out of ten."

Ethan's eyebrow rose. "Our shower scene?" He turned to look at Seth and then frowned when what I'd said registered. "Five? What do you mean five?"

 

"Are you sexually active?"

My eyes widened and I glanced over at Ethan, "Um, not yet!"

The nurse's hands paused over the keyboard and she glanced up. "Have you ever been sexually active?"

It was one thing talking about my virginity with Ethan and Seth; it was another talking about it with a stranger... even if that stranger was a nurse. I could be as dirty as I wanted with Seth and Ethan, but here in the doctor's office it all felt so stiff and clinical-like. 

Swallowing, I shook my head. "No. I haven't."

"Um-"

I held my hand up, cutting her off. "I'm making arrangements."

Removing her hands from the keyboard, the nurse turned in her wheeling chair and rolled closer to us. "Are you sure this is something you want to do?"

"I mean, yes—definitely."

The nurse nodded. "Okay," she said, offering a warm smile. "By the end of this process you'll probably be tired of that question."

"Why?" Ethan asked.

"We have to be sure that the potential surrogate not only understands the physical aspect of carrying another couples baby, but also the mental trauma it can cause if the volunteer is not ready for something like this. This is going to be a heavy screening process and we'll ask that question every chance to assure that this is something you want to do and not something someone is pushing you to do." 

She paused as if to say 'let this sink in' before she continued, "The minute you walked into this office, Cassie, you became our patient. You're mental and physical health is our priority, not the couple wanting the baby. Thankfully, you were smart enough to go to a different physician than the one the soon-to-be mother goes to."

I frowned. "That could cause some legal issues and information violations, right? That's what I assumed. I don't want to think the worst, but I figured protecting myself and having a different physician was the best route."

"Well, you were right. Now, since this is such a lengthy process, you might decide to have intercourse with someone before it happens. If that's the case, we'll have to screen you for potential sexual diseases like syphilis and HIV. Remember, wrap it before you tap it," she added, giving a pointed look at Ethan. She turned to me. "And birth control... condoms break. Accidental pregnancy would obviously cause a problem in becoming a surrogate."

I hid my smile underneath my hand as I glanced at Ethan's flushing face. He looked like he was about to have a stroke and the nurse wasn't cracking a smile at all as she eyed him again. Her seriousness made Ethan stiffen in full alert. He gave her a nod and the blush in his cheeks spread to the tips of his ears. 

He was just too easy to embarrass. 

"I'm on birth control," I said.

"Good."

We spent almost two hours in the office. I had questions that needed to be answered. When Ethan wasn't in the waiting room, he had questions. What better time to do it then while they were taking tests and ultra sounds of my uterus. They were seeing all up in there, so there was really no point in being embarrassed with them. By the time we got out, the sun was low in the salmon and turquoise colored sky. The wind was gently blowing the smell of freshly cut grass, and the growl of a lawnmower turned off. 

I inhaled, letting my eyes briefly flutter shut as we walked towards Ethan's car. "Thanks for coming, Ethan. It was a lot easier with you being there."

He cast me a sideways glance and smirked. "No problem. It was definitely a learning experience."

Once we got in the car and put our seatbelts on, I looked over at Ethan as he pushed his key into the ignition. I wanted to ask him about Seth and his reaction to what I was doing. Seth's first dismissive response had been understandable—he'd been turned on—the second time, in the Coffee Barn, he seemed stand-offish. 

"So, is Seth okay with this?"

Ethan turned his head towards me as he pulled out of the parking spot. "Why wouldn't he be?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's not exactly something he was asking for. Will you make sure he knows that just because you're going to be my support system it doesn't mean he has to be if he doesn't want to?"

"Cassie, it's not like you're having this baby to keep it."

"I know, but I'll still be going through all that emotional crap and that might be something he doesn't want to deal with, ya know? I feel like he's not saying something about it."

Ethan nodded with a solemn, knowing look on his face. "I'll talk to him and see where he stands. It's probably just the idea of a living person inside of you that has him acting like that."

"Speaking of talking, what did you and Seth talk about all last night?" I asked, unable to keep the question down any longer.

Ethan switched his turning signal on and changed lanes so he could turn right. "You."

I let out a nervous laugh and wrapped my hands around the clothed seatbelt tightly. The fabric from the corner of the belt dug into the palms of my hands."Wow, that wasn't what I wanted to hear. What about me?"

"Nothing bad!" he said. "Seth wants to continue after..."

"After... you pop my cherry?"

He tsked his tongue. "Yes."

"What does he want to continue exactly?"

Ethan sighed, and when he stopped at the red light he turned his upper body towards me, his pine green eyes suddenly serious. "With you and the-um-the sex."

"You mean he wants to have sex with me after you do?" I asked and then shrugged. "I'm okay with that."

"No. Well, yes he does after I'm er--done, but that's not what he meant. He wants you to continue to be involved with us... sexually."

My eyes widened. Now that wasn't what I expected. "Like fuck buddies?" 

That was something I wasn't so sure about. If only a few nights of heavy petting led me to the emptiness I experienced last night then how would I be able to handle that.

"Not like fuck buddies," he said, drawing out the 'o' in not. 

Oh.

"Oh," I repeated my thought. "Like what then?"


	14. Sexcathalons and Erototoxins pt 2

Ethan didn't answer my question until he got to his apartment complex parking lot. He threw his seatbelt off and leapt out of the car, coming around to my side as I sat staring at the windshield, contemplating what he'd said. 

There's no way he meant... that. 

He pulled my door open and slowly reached over me. His breath mingled with mine and the day-old stubble on his face scratched my cheek. Ethan's gaze shifted to my face as he pushed the button of my seatbelt and carefully pulled it away from me. I started to get out, but Ethan shook his head.

"Stay," he said, leaning against the passenger door.

Settling back into the seat, I finally asked him, "Are you going to answer me now?"

Exhaling, he nodded, but didn't say anything right away as he examined me quizzically. "Like a relationship with you," he whispered. "That's what we were talking about all last night."

My lips parted. "What?" I asked, resisting the urge to shake my head and clear it.

"You heard me right," he said. He swallowed and ran a hand through his wind-rumpled hair. "I need to know how you feel about that, Cassie."

My mouth dropped open and I shrugged one shoulder, touching my chin to it as I looked at him. "How do you feel about it?" I asked.

My question was followed by another long silence. I bit my lip as I watched his expressions changing. It was like I was watching him in slow-mo and the array of emotions crossing his face had me worried.

"I-I don't know," he mumbled.

I dropped my gaze to my lap and clasped my hands together. My heart hurt at his answer even though I knew I should've expected it. Ethan couldn't help his sexual preference. He was gay through and through and...

"Relationships are complicated."

Okay.

That wasn't what I was expecting him to say.

"Relationships are complicated?" I repeated what Ethan said. 

He took my hand. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about this myself. I mean before Seth brought it up."

I gaped at him like a fish. "Really?"

Ethan rolled his eyes and lifted his arm. His finger popped me gently under the chin, making me close my mouth. "I had to. After you asked me to—"

"Stop pussy-footing around," I interrupted him. "Are you attracted to me?"

He tilted his head to the side and let loose a slow smile as he stared at me. "You're so pushy," he said softly. 

I pleaded with him silently. I needed to know because what he was offering me—to belong to him and Seth and them to me in this way—seemed too good to be true and if he didn't say it out loud...

"Cassie, don't over think this."

"How can I not? I want—" I stopped before I could spill the beans and turned in the passenger seat. I reached for him and pulled him between my legs, wrapping my arms around his waist tightly. My head pillowed against his muscular stomach muffling any further words as I hugged him close.

His hand dropped to the top of my head before sliding down to my shoulders and returning my tight hug. He didn't pull away, but he did lift my face so that I wasn't buried in the material of his white t-shirt. I settled my chin against him while looking up at him. His hands cupped the sides of my face and his thumbs caressed the curve of my cheekbones on either side. 

"Cassie," he whispered. "You're so important to me. I think about the three of us being together and I do want it. I want it more than I thought I could ever possibly want it, but on the flip side, you're almost too important to me to do this. What if something goes wrong? I don't want to lose either of you."

I smiled and tears blurred my vision. "You'll never lose me. I can promise you that. I'm stuck to you like super-glue. If it doesn't work, we'll get over it but we'll always be friends, Ethan. I promise, even if I'm the hurt, lonely party in the end."

With a half-hearted grin, he knelt down so that we were eye-level to each other. "And if I end up the lonely party?"

My eyes softened. "Seth wouldn't choose me over you. You don't have to worry about that. He likes me, he doesn't love me."

Ethan chuckled. "You're a very easy person to love, Cassie."

"So are you, but a relationship between three people isn't about choosing one over the other. Obviously, we'll have to work it out. There'll be kinks—not the good kind—but that's what a relationship is about. This will just be new grounds for us," I said and licked my bottom lip as a new thought surfaced. "Society's against stuff like this, so I think we should keep it quiet until we find our own footing with each other too."

Ethan snorted. "No problem here. My family still don't know I'm gay, Cass."

"Okay, but your friends do," I said, but he shook his head and tried to talk. I covered his mouth with my hand. "They do know. They don't care, Ethan. It doesn't matter that you never said it outright to them, they know. They talked to me about it, and before you get butt-hurt they brought it to the table, not me. You know I'm a crap liar. They called me out. And I'm sure your dad knows too. It's your mother will have to work on, but after we've figured it out for ourselves."

"Why my mom?"

I scowled at him. "I know you've seen the big white wedding book, right?"

Ethan snorted. "Oh God, I forgot about that. I still don't know how she got those pictures of you."

I nodded, pursing my lips to the side. "I came to the conclusion awhile ago that she stalked me."

"What?" he asked around a half-gasp, half-chuckle. 

"Still does stalk me, she's taken up to stalking you too, now that you don't live with them anymore. Have you seen the new 'additions'?"

Ethan slowly shook his head, his eyebrows snapping together. 

"Oh yeah, talk about crazy. I love your mom, but she's got some far-fetched ideas about us. I have no idea how she made our kids... must've been some kind of digital photo-shop deal."

"So we're not only married in this book but now we have a child?"

I held up four fingers, trying to keep a solemn face as I nodded.

"Four!" Ethan cried out. "She's nuts! I'm not having four kids."

"Who you tellin'? I'm the one that's gotta pop 'em out. I don't want four kids either." 

Ethan shook his head in disbelief. "I don't know how Dad deals with her some days."

"That's the thing about love—so I hear—you're supposed to take the bad with the good. And I want us to be together. If you and Seth are willing to make this work with me then so am I."

Ethan's face shifted, became more serious, as he stared at me. "Are you sure about this?"

"Are you and Seth sure?"

Ethan nodded without hesitancy, "Yeah."

I couldn't hold it in anymore and I squealed with happiness, launching myself at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his lower back, and held on to him like I was on the Titanic and he was my life jacket. He laughed as he fell into the door, his arms coming around my back to hold me in place. 

"I take it you're okay with it," Ethan said, still laughing.

Instead of saying I was okay with it, I pulled slightly away. I moved my hands to cup his face, letting him see the utter devotion I was going to have in this relationship to them both, and then I pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss that left us both breathless. When I pulled away, Ethan's eyes were fluttering open and his face was flushed. 

"I'm more than okay with it. Now, let's go tell Seth."

Ethan turned with me, still holding me as he kicked his leg out to shut the passenger car door. The car beeped signaling Ethan had locked it and his shoes squeaked on the pavement as he swiveled around. 

"Seth is already in bed waiting for us. He didn't have any doubt you'd say yes."

"He's so conceited," I said with an amused snort. "He's not really in bed waiting for us is he?"

Ethan nodded, "Said he'd be naked and waiting."

I bit my lip with anticipation, and the erotic image of white sheets slinking down his hips swamped me. "Mm, maybe you should walk faster," I said. 

Ethan laughed again, but he knew I was serious. We were at the elevator in record time, but when the tan colored sliding doors opened to reveal a woman, we both paused. 

"Mom?"

Ethan's mother's eyes widened as she noticed the way Ethan was holding me, and she screamed, startling a yelp out of me. Ethan just rolled his eyes. 

"Well," she said, after her impromptu screech of joy, "it's about time! Oh just wait until I tell your father!" 

"Ma!" Ethan interrupted her. 

She stepped forward and patted Ethan on his check then gave me a quick corner-of-the-mouth kiss. "Darling, I brought you some groceries. That handsome boy of yours, Seth, helped me put them away," she paused to fan her face, "I must've caught him just coming out of the shower because all he had was a towel around him when I walked in."

"Ma!" Ethan's face was lobster red and all I could do was shake my head in disbelief. 

She frowned. "Let's not tell your father that part."

"Oh my God!" Ethan cried out mortified. 

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Ethan. Nothing happened! He's very handsome though. I think I understand the whole... what is it called?"

I snorted and shook my head. "Cougar, I think. Where an older woman goes after a younger man?" I asked, now biting my lip to keep the wide smile off my face as Ethan shot me a glare..

"That's it!"

"Cassie, please don't encourage her," Ethan said.

His mother dropped her hands to her hips. "Okay, okay, I'll stop," she said. "I'm so happy you too are getting together. Don't rush things and ruin it though. I have very specific plans for your wedding." She stopped and tapped a finger against the face of her watch. "Now look, I've got to run, but I want you three to come over for dinner sometime this next week. Okay? Promise!"

"We will," I answered for Ethan.

He gave me another tiny scowl but kissed his mother's cheek as she left and power walked towards her car. Ethan dropped his arms from around my waist, no longer holding me up. All that kept me in place was my arms and legs, which were wrapped around him.

"Get off," he grumbled. 

I dropped a laughing kiss to the tip of his nose. "Don't pout. Seth and I will put you back in the mood."

"She was checking out my--I mean our--boyfriend. You aren't a little disgusted?"

"It's cute. Besides, she's so in love with your dad I'm surprised she even notices the opposite sex."

Ethan harrumphed and I wiggled against him, encouraging him to take a step forward into the elevator. "Why does it have to be Seth when she does notice though?" he asked, faking a gag.

"Oh stop!" I smacked his shoulder and then snorted as I thought about Seth and the little adventure he had. "Poor Seth," I said and chuckled. 

Ethan nodded. "He's probably curled in a corner somewhere. Might have to get him back in the mood too," Ethan paused and wrapped his arms back around me, settling his lower hand against my ass and patting it. His already flushed face turned a brick red. "This is gonna take some getting used to."

"We'll get there... sooner than you think," I whispered against his cheek.

He nodded and pushed the elevator button to make the doors open again. When he walked us in, he tipped me towards the button panel and I tapped the one for the fifth floor.

"So," Ethan started, "are you up for it? I don't want you to think you have to right now. A lot has happened today, so we would understand..."

"Don't even!"

"I'm just saying I'm not sure you're ready to get both Seth and me back in the mood. I mean what we just went through was fairly traumatizing."

"Your mother is not traumatizing."

"Well we'll ask Seth how much he appreciated her impromptu visit then."

I smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Ethan?"

"What?"

"Challenge accepted!"

**Author's Note:**

> My goal is to update this every week with two chapters. I have 28 out of 30 chapters complete.


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